Bring Me Home
by Elie.N.P
Summary: Leaving her was his mistake. Doubting him was hers. Would they be able to deal with the past, fight the present to preserve their future? Or would their story become another tragedy?    RinxSesshomaru  a bit OOC
1. Chapter 1 Discovery

**It's not my first try with them, but it is the first time I try to write a several-chapters story about them. I hope you'll enjoy it! I'm on holidays right now it means I can work on this story, but every work needs time so I don't know when I will be able to publish the sequel. **

**They will surely be a bit OOC, but remember this is my plot and so I have adapted the characters to it. Well, I hope you will like it!**

**(I apologize for the mistakes, I try my best in English but I'm far from being perfect :p )**

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><p>Chapter 1 - Discovery<p>

Inuyasha ran through the forest for the umpteenth time that day. He knew he wouldn't find anything. He sensed nothing at all, nothing that he wanted. Rin had disappeared a week ago, and they still didn't have any evidence about what had happened.

He wouldn't admit it to Kagome, but he didn't believe in their chances to find her alive anymore.

"Did you find her?" Kagome asked, hope filling her eyes.

The half-demon pitifully shook his head. "Her scent isn't in the forest anymore."

"And the bear demons?"

"Disappeared too," he assured.

Kagome closed her eyes. Rin had only stayed three months with them before suddenly disappearing. They didn't know if it was a voluntary departure or not, but the scent of bear demons was weighing for the latter.

"What if... what if she is..." Kagome couldn't bring herself to end her sentence.

Inuyasha took her in his arms. Oh, how he would like to protect her from the guilt she surely was feeling, but it was impossible, he was also feeling it. He should have watched over the child more carefully.

"She is only ten years old! Ten years old! How do you want her to stay alive, alone, in a demon world?"

Kagome was panic-stricken. Sesshomaru had left Rin in their care. He had made an effort to trust his half-brother with the life of his ward, and they had betrayed that so precious trust.

It was crystal clear. The powerful dog demon, feared by so many, if not by everyone, was fond of a child, a human child, and would do his best to protect her, even if it meant he had to leave her behind.

Keeping Rin by his side had become more and more dangerous over the months. At some point, Sesshomaru had decided to bring Rin to his Land until she was old enough to travel again. They had remained there three months, enough time for Rin to be the victim of around ten murder attempts, and for Sesshomaru to understand his surroundings were not where she should be.

"Inuyasha... We have to tell him! He will surely be able to do something, he has a lot of people under his orders. Yeah, we have to do that. Can you send him a message?" she hopefully asked.

"I can, but if he knows..."

"It will be hell," Kagome finished for him. "But we don't have any other choice!"

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><p>He knew it. He knew it was not a good idea since the very beginning. Leaving her behind, what a stupid thing to do! Alas it had been his Lord's decision, and nobody ever argued his decision.<p>

"Maybe I should have done so," the little imp mumbled.

Jaken had intercepted Inuyasha's message. He couldn't explain why, but his blood had run cold when he had caught a glimpse of the sender. Inuyasha never wrote to his brother, never. Eventually, it could have been about how Rin was doing, however it had been decided that Jaken would be the one fetching the news, at least three times a year. So why would Inuyasha waste his time writing to his brother?

On an impulse, he had grabbed the letter from the messenger's hands, then had quickly disappeared into the Lord's gardens. Even after four readings, he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge the truthfulness of what was written.

"Inuyasha is not so weak! He was a good option, he should have been able to protect her better than that! Three months! We left her three months ago and a bad thing has already happened!"

Jaken couldn't calm himself. He was now walking back and forth among the beautiful flowers. Annoyed, panic-stricken, furious, desperate.

He had to make a choice, either he warned his Lord, or he went himself to Inuyasha's village.

"Yeah, I think it's better that way, because if he knows, if he knows..." A shiver ran down his spine. He didn't want to find out what would happen if he knew, or rather, he didn't want to take the risk to be there when that would happen.

"I go to Inuyasha and let the message to another demon who will give it to him in four or five days, how long will it take me to go there?"

Lost in his thoughts, Jaken missed the great demon coming towards him.

"Maybe I will meet with Rin into the forest. Maybe she has just lost herself in the woods. Damn that Inuyasha! He should have..."

"What should he have done?"

Jaken froze. 'Oh no, oh no, oh no.' He turned around and quickly fell on his knees.

"My... my Lord... what are... what are you doing here?"

"It's not my question Jaken. What should my half-brother have done? What about Rin being lost?"

His voice was void of any emotion, but Jaken knew better. His Lord was getting angrier with each second.

"I... I received that..." he sheepishly said while offering the letter.

Sesshomaru snatched it away from the toad's hands. He knew that what was written would surely not pleased him, but he had to be aware of everything. Even if it displeased him.

"What's the meaning of that Jaken?" he growled.

The imp began to shake. "I... It seems that... that Rin has disappeared my Lord... Inuyasha... Inuyasha hasn't found her yet." He immediately closed his eyes, waiting for his Lord to hit him.

The blow never came. "We are leaving Jaken. Now!"

"Of... of course my Lord. I will prepare everything I-"

"No need. We are going immediately."

Sesshomaru couldn't think straight. His little Rin, his precious Rin was missing. He had to find her. He had to protect her. What if it was already too late? He frowned. No, he would find her before it was too late. He had made a promise to himself, he would never let any harm come to Rin. For a time, he had thought that the best for her was to be kept away from him. He had to admit, he had been wrong.

In spite of all his enemies, in spite of all the dangers he was making Rin be close to, in spite of all that he would have never let her disappear like that! If only he had listened to her, she wanted to stay, she was willing to stay, with him, he definitely should have listened to her.

"Jaken, just order to prepare a room for Rin. She will stay here."

Jaken restrained himself from smiling. He would not admit that he missed Rin greatly. That child had been the first to treat him with respect -he didn't expect that from his Lord, he was his master after all- she had considered him as a friend. In spite of all the times he had been mean to her, she had never held a grudge against him.

"Of course my Lord!"

Sesshomaru sighed. It would be hell to make the other demons agree with her presence in the castle, but it wouldn't make him change his mind. He would rather face their anger than being separated from Rin again. If it wasn't already too late... He sent that idea away. He had never thought thus, defeat was not something he was customary of, and it would not begin now.

"I will bring her home," he whispered, a vivid determination burning into his eyes.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2 Illusions

Chapter 2 Illusions

Birds flew off, foxes, wolves, wild boars ran away, rabbits buried themselves into their holes. They and the other inhabitants of the forest were terrified by the sudden apparition of a frightening aura among them.

The powerful being was furious, and not alone, another demon was with him, less powerful but equally dangerous.

They were both devastating the forest in order to find something, or rather someone.

"I have already said it! I looked through the whole damn forest!. I searched behind every damn tree!" Inuyasha growled. "We have to search elsewhere! Quickly!"

Sesshomaru didn't answer. He was too infuriated to even care about his half-brother's complaints. They had already inspected the forest several times, to no avail. He couldn't smell Rin's scent, nor detected her tracks, as if she had never been there.

"Did you hear me? Rin isn't here! Uprooting all the trees won't solve the matter! We can't detect the bears' tracks either. What do you think? They didn't wait for us!"

"Shut up!" Sesshomaru yelled, pinning the half-breed to a tree. "Shut up!"

The infamous Lord didn't care if he was losing his composure, in front of his brother of all the people! He was on edge. He had been so sure he would be able to find Rin.

"I won't shut up! Be realistic! She isn't here anymore," Inuyasha spat.

He was on edge too. Kagome wouldn't stop crying, Sango wouldn't stop screaming, Miroku wouldn't stop making pessimistic hypothesis. He couldn't take it anymore.

"You need to search elsewhere! And we will help you because Rin is a friend! But you need to move your ass!"

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth then let go of Inuyasha's clothes. He hated to admit it, but the half-breed was right. He had to think. If she wasn't here anymore, he could always search the surroundings of the forest, interrogate the villagers, use other demons to detect her tracks. There were a lot of things he could do, why hadn't he already started them?

"I'll send Jaken to my soldiers, they will help. Go back to your woman and calm her down. It's useless to cry. I'll definitely bring Rin back."

Inuyasha simply nodded. He wasn't surprised by his brother's words about Kagome, even if he usually wouldn't have bothered to mention her, because Sesshomaru wasn't his usual-self. As an evidence, the infamous Lord hadn't beaten him yet in spite of all the times he had been screamed at. Well, Inuyasha wasn't complaining either to be spared, but he doubted it would still be the case after what he was about to say.

"I don't like to say that, but don't... don't be so confident. I mean you can't be sure you will be able to find her. Don't... If Rin is..."

Sesshomaru's glare hushed him. Inuyasha knew better than courting disaster. He wouldn't insist, however he couldn't stop wondering if it wasn't too late. In fact, deep inside him, he had already given up. Soon, he wouldn't be the only one.

As time went by, Kagome stopped crying, giving up, too, the idea of seeing the little girl alive, and soon her resignation overcame the hope brought by Sesshomaru's presence. Even he couldn't do anything more. Rin would soon be a part of their memories, unfortunately, a sad memory.

Sesshomaru couldn't accept that. They were wrong, all of them, totally wrond. He would find her, no matter what, no matter when. He kept on searching, day and night, night and day, alone.

As for Jaken, he was torn between his heart and his duty. Of course, he wanted to see Rin, but the condition in which his Lord was worsened day by day. The great demon didn't eat, sleep, or rest even for a second. He was spending his time looking for the little girl, neglecting his health, and his duty as a leader.

As Rin's friend, Jaken wanted his master to go on with the searches, but as the servant of the Lord of the Western Land he had to put an end to that situation. Well, once he would have gathered up the courage to face him.

It happened five weeks after their arrival to Inuyasha's village – Jaken had never been really quick- when Sesshomaru finally agreed to rest a little. He literally collapsed against a tree trunk, too exhausted to walk to his half-brother's house. He had lost weight and was weakened, in spite of the fact that demons could do without feeding for quite an important amount of time, despair was the only thing keeping him going on.

Seeing his master lowered to such a condition broke Jaken's heart. It was time to act.

Taking a deep inspiration, he carefully walked to the demon, determined to disturb the precious sleep, or so he thought.

"What do you want Jaken?" Sesshomaru asked -startling the little imp- without opening his eyes.

"My... my Lord I..." Jaken took another deep breath, he had to be brave, he had to be honest. "I think... I think it's time to go back to your Land. We can't do anything more here. I'm sure Rin would agree." He saw his master tense. "I mean, she wouldn't want you to neglect your health, or your duty. She would advice you to move on like... like she did when she lost her family and met us."

The end of his sentence was barely audible, but Sesshomaru heard it nonetheless.

"Are you saying that I'm acting like a fool?"

Jaken lowered his gaze to the ground. "Fool is not the word I would use," he whispered. "You..."

"Speak Jaken."

"Rin was important to you my Lord, it's understandable that you want to find her. I also want to see her again, but we have to acknowledge the truth. Rin has... Rin has disappeared. She has... she has left our lives," Jaken slightly sobbed.

Keeping his eyes to the ground, he missed the single tear which rolled on Sesshomaru's cheek.

His servant was right. Rin had left their lives, his life. It had been so long since Sesshomaru had lost something precious to him, so much that he didn't know how to react anymore. He was like one of those stupid humans. Weak. He was weak because Rin was concerned. And now that she had left his life... He clenched his fists.

"We're going back Jaken. Tell Inuyasha."

"Re... really?"

Sesshomaru nodded. "It's time to get everything back in order."

"And for... for Rin?" Jaken asked with hesitation, not very reassured by his master's tone. Too much like in the past. Too much like before they met Rin.

"Forget her," Sesshomaru ordered. It hurt to say it, but it was the only option left. If he kept thinking about her, he would never be able to act like the leader he was supposed to be. He had to pull himself together.

The little imp gaped, unable to speak. That was not what he meant at all! His master didn't have to forget Rin, to forget what she had brought to them, no, he only wanted him to go back to his Land and... and... He didn't know what he exactly wanted, but that reaction was too extreme! His Lord was being too extreme.

"I didn't want him to become withdrawn again!" he whined once Sesshomaru was far enough not to be able to hear him anymore. "Rin, what did you have to disappear you idiot!"

He walked a little before stopping to look at the sky. "Rin," he whispered, his voice shaking a little, "wherever you are, you have to know that we will greatly miss you."

TBC

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><p><strong>Well, I hope you enjoy your reading =) Rin will also be older in this story (seventeen I mean) but later. I need to explain some things before, or else I fear you won't understand anything ^^" Don't worry, if there are some strange things, time will little by little explain them (at least I hope)<strong>

**Thanks for your review =) **

**And for Critical Thinker: This story is not based on the ending of Inuyasha. I took the world, the characters, but not the plot, so don't be surprised if you don't find any elements of the original plot =)**


	3. Chapter 3 Loss

**This chapter is in two parts. I'm not very satisfied with it, but well if I listened to myself I wouldn't post before an eternity - time needed to be satisfied xD **

**Don't be worried if you think you have missed something, the situation will become clearer in the next chapters =) **

**Thanks for all your reviews ! Sorry for the mistakes and I hope you'll enjoy your reading ^^**

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><p><span>Chapter 3 Loss<span>

"She is coming."

"How long before she is there?"

"Ten minutes."

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><p>Rin quickened her step a little, catching up with her companion. Despite all the time she could spend walking through forests, she still wasn't able to get rid of her impression that she was permanently observed. Something suddenly moved into the trees, making her shiver.<p>

"Is something wrong Rin?"

She shook her head. She wouldn't admit her fears aloud, the move had certainly been from a bird or a squirrel. No need to worry.

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><p>"Is she far away from the others? Is she alone?"<p>

"Fifteen minutes ahead of them. The human child is accompanying her."

"Nothing to worry about. Get ready. We won't miss such a chance!"

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><p>Rin anxiously looked over her shoulder. Her companion silently laughed before gently taking her hand.<p>

"Don't worry. I'm here."

Rin's lips stretched upward. She wasn't alone, she didn't need to be worried. Besides, they were patrolling, even if the others were behind, they would be there to help if there was any danger. She was safe.

"I know you're not fond of forests," continued her companion, "but it's all right. I won't ever allow any harm to be done to my daughter, you know it, don't you?"

Rin's smile reached her eyes. "Of course I know!" she exclaimed.

Albeit she wasn't reassured by the dark atmosphere created by the several hundred years old trees, she really enjoyed being with the patrol. Particularly because they would always walk ahead of the others, sharing a moment belonging only to the two of them, adoptive mother and daughter. A moment without duties or training. A precious moment.

As time went by, these occasions had become rare. Growing up among the bear demons, Rin had to prove she was worth of their care. She was training hard since they took her in, learning how to fight, to protect, to attack, how to make strategies, to react in case of hitches, to quickly take a decision, but it was still not enough. She had to do better, to learn more. It was exhausting for a girl of her age, only thirteen years old, but she wouldn't complain. Rin wanted to be able to proudly walk by her mother's side, Tsuyu's side.

She wanted to help, and would help, the bear clan for all that they had done for her.

Rin wasn't naïve, not as much as before, she was aware of those who wished for her death, accidentally or not, she was a human among demons after all - there were several other humans in the clan, but she was the only one so close to the leader. Jealousy was a common feeling towards her, however she didn't care about the jealous ones. She only cared about those who had raised her, those who had allowed her to stay with them. It was for them that she wanted to become a person able to stand by herself.

Tsuyu was proud of her little Rin, her adoptive child. In spite of her certainly painful past and indeterminate future, she was living her present as if nothing else mattered.

This day, as they walked down the dirty path, both were remembering the day they met.

When a lost ten years old Rin met general Tsuyu, part of the powerful bear clan of the Northern Land.

The day which changed their life course.

_Flashback_

Rin was running. Where, she didn't know, but it didn't matter. She was running away from that place, even if it was going to break several hearts, hers too. She couldn't stand to stay by Inuyasha's side any longer, he reminded her too much of _him_. His silver hair, his dog ears, she shook her head. She didn't want to let his face invade her mind again, it was unbearable.

The little girl tripped over a root, falling harshly on the ground. She immediately tried to get up and failed miserably, her knee was bleeding badly. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she refused to let them flow. She knew better than to be weak.

"It hurts," she nonetheless whined.

All of a sudden, adrenaline spread through her body, footsteps were coming in her direction. She winced. She was in no condition to escape, all she could do was trying to hide. Biting her lips, she slowly crawled away from the main path. A big tree trunk would be a perfect hiding place, if there was any. She growled, her worry turning into irritation. Hopefully, she would be small enough to disappear behind one of the small trees around her.

Once she was satisfied, or rather once she couldn't go farther, Rin curled up into a ball, hands covering her mouth to muffle any noise. She wouldn't take any risks.

"Stop brooding Shoda, or I'm going to leave you alone."

"Why do we have to do that? There is nothing strange in that place! Only trees, insects, humans, birds... Human!" the said Shoda smirked pointing at a tree.

Rin crossed her fingers, she knew it was ridiculous, but hoping seemed to be the last thing she could rely on.

"Oh! What a cute little snack!"

She frowned, irritation and adrenaline still running through her veins, taking over her reactions, making her be more annoyed by the idiot nickname than frightened by the being meaning to eat her.

The demon came closer to her little form, surprised by the move of her face. Had she just frowned? Where were the tears? Why wasn't he hearing her cries?

"Shoda, we don't have time to play. Leave her alone, she will probably die."

"Wait a minute Tsuyu! I swear I saw her frown."

"So what?"

Tsuyu was exasperated by the behaviour of her companion. 'So much like a brat.'

"So what, so what, so she doesn't look afraid of me!" he exclaimed, his tone clearly reflecting his vexation.

Rin suppressed a smirk. In comparison to Lord Sesshomaruthat bear demon - she could tell because of his features, his face was half-human half-bear – and his behaviour were ridiculously not frightening. Mere wolves were more frightening than that demon, besides they didn't have a dubious humour.

Tsuyu caught her move, contrary to her companion. She frowned then smirked while being threatened by demons? Surprising.

"Tsuyu, come here a second, maybe with your women's intuition you could understand that thing!"

The female demon sighed. Women's intuition, what bullshit, however the child's behaviour having aroused her interest, she agreed to come closer.

The adrenaline in Rin's blood immediately went down at the sight of the female demon, a visibly exasperated and clever female demon who was looking very alike to Lord Sesshomaru, a sufficient reason to be afraid of her in Rin's opinion.

"We can transform, can't we? I'm sure she would be afraid!"

Tsuyu glared at her companion. "Why are you so excited about that child?"

Shoda shrugged. "Don't know, I just don't like it when somebody isn't scared of me."

Rin bit the inside of her cheek. She was used to being threatened by demons, but this time was different. Her situation was really bad. When she travelled with the infamous Lord of the Western Land it happened all the time, but she usually didn't need to worry for her life, because he was always there to protect her... he had always been there, it was over now. She felt tears in her eyes again. He didn't want her by his side anymore. He had let her with Inuyasha and Kagome, and hadn't come to visit her, not even once, since then.

Tsuyu detected a change in the child's attitude, she was now slightly shaking, and her eyes were shining with tears. Maybe their presence had shocked her so much that she hadn't been able to feel fear, maybe she had just come over that shock and fear was overwhelming her, that might be true, but something prevented Tsuyu from thinking it was the sole reason.

"There! There! She is going to cry!"

Shoda hurried above Rin, growling, all in fangs and claws. He was a predator who wanted to see Rin cringe in fear. Tsuyu grabbed him by the arm and shoved him away.

"She isn't afraid of you, you idiot! There is something else on her mind," she explained.

"How can you say that?"

Tsuyu ignored his question. She bent down over the child and lightly touched her, careful not to hurt the skin with her claws. Rin's eyes went wide open at the sensation, the demon's touch was soft, but it didn't erase the fear nor the sadness she was feeling. At that time, irritation and cockiness had totally disappeared.

"What's your name?"

Rin stared deep into the demon's eyes, but said nothing.

Tsuyu continued her caresses on the small arm. Something into the child's gaze was disturbing her, such pain and nostalgia shouldn't be there.

"What's your name?" she repeated, softer.

"Rin."

Her answer was merely above a whisper.

"Tsuyu, what are you doing?"

"Hush!"

Truth was, she didn't know what she was doing. She had been the first wanting to ignore the child and there she was, caressing her skin, speaking to her. Unbelievable. And yet, she somehow wanted to know more about that child. She was drawn to her.

"Why are you here?"

Rin did not speak. She didn't want to have false hopes. The demon would be nice to her as long as she wanted and after... After she would abandon, or kill, her merciless.

"Are you alone?"

"Look! That thing can't even talk properly! Kill her or let me kill her, we don't have time."

Tsuyu growled. Who was he to dare speak to her like that? He had been the one wanting to bother about Rin's presence!

"Go by yourself," she dryly answered. "I'm going to see if I can find her village."

"Why?" Shoda shouted. "She is nothing more than a human! Why do you want to help her?"

Shoda quickly took a decision. If the general didn't want to act, then he would do something by himself. He silently pushed on his knees, ready to strike, but Tsuyu was no fool. She waited for him to attack and swiftly kicked him away.

"Don't come near her Shoda!" she warned. "She is young, and I don't kill if I have no reason to do so."

"You wanted to let her die!"

"It's not the same," she retorted. "Letting her die is not the same as killing her by myself. Now go! I don't want to see you in the surroundings!"

Shoda lowered his head, thus concealing his anger from his superior. He already didn't like the fact that he had to obey her, but being dismissed in front of a human, because of a human, it was too much for his pride.

He was about to argue when Tsuyu growled again, a deep, threatening growl which usually was enough to intimidate her foes. And right now, he was her foe. No good. He bowed then opted for a quick departure, it was safer than staying near an angry general. His time would come later.

"Don't let him scare you, he is an hopeless idiot. Do you have any family near here? Don't worry, I won't harm you, I just want to help you. You heard me, didn't you?"

"I am all by myself."

Technically, it wasn't a lie. She had really run alone into the forest, of course she could come back to the village, they would hug her, scold her a little, make her promise not to ever do that again but, in spite of their kindness, she didn't want to go back. She loved Inuyasha, Kagome and Sango, even Miroku, however that love wasn't comparable to the one she had for her former companions, it couldn't make her loss bearable.

Tsuyu scrutinised the child with attention for several seconds, wondering what could be her thoughts. Had she had the wrong impression about her? Was she, in fact, just like any other child?

"Is death what you seek?" she finally asked, seeing that Rin wasn't about to give her an answer.

TBC


	4. Chapter 3 bis

**Well, this is the second part, I hope you'll like it! **

**Thank you for all your reviews, you can't know how much I love to read them =D **

**Enjoy your reading !**

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><p><span>Chapter 3 (bis) Loss<span>

Rin's eyes grew wide. "No!" she shouted, and that wasn't a lie. Lord Sesshomaru had given her another chance to live, she wouldn't waste it, even if she couldn't live with him.

"You don't want to die, but you are alone in the middle of a forest, without any supplies, how do you plan to survive?" Tsuyu was more and more interested in the child.

Without knowing it, Rin had moved into a sitting position, giving up her defensive stance.

"I haven't thought about it yet," she admitted, "but I will manage to survive no matter what."

"How did you plan to escape from my companion?"

Rin shrugged. "I didn't have enough time to think. I hid and I would have improvised."

Tsuyu smiled, the child was finally making real sentences.

"Why don't you come with me?" she then asked out of the blue.

Rin nearly choked. "Sorry?"

"You heard me well. It's the best option, isn't it?"

"Why would you take care of a human? Nonsense! And... didn't... didn't you wish me dead? And... And... This is... Nonsense!"

Rin was astonished, to say the least, by the proposition. Weren't demons supposed to hate humans, not to care about them? Didn't they think humans were weak creatures only skilled to destroy themselves? Besides, why would such a demon burden herself with an human child?

"I think I like you," Tsuyu honestly answered as if she had read Rin's thoughts. "You're a child but you don't seem to be a brat. Having you by my side will put an end my loneliness."

Rin quickly blinked several times. "But I will be a burden for you!" she managed to say in spite of her shock. The story was repeating itself. A powerful demon met a human child and allowed the weak creature to remain by his side, but, and Rin could tell for sure because she had already experienced it, it wasn't a happy-ending story.

"You will be _my_ child."

Rin was too dumbfounded to answer. Could this story be different from the previous? Would she come to love that demon as much as she had come to love the Lord of the Western Land? Would she be happy? Wouldn't she get hurt?

She stared deep into the demon's eyes. The latter didn't turn away. Doubt in the child's eyes, determination in the adult's. But determination wasn't the only thing Rin could detect in those beautiful brown eyes, loneliness and boredom were also present, their domination threatened by an obvious hope and an unconcealed growing affection.

Could two stories, with a similar plot, have a different ending? Was it worth to take the risk?

Tsuyu's smile grew softer as Rin slowly offered her her small hand. What she was doing was crazy, a pure folly, but something inside her, inside her blood, was screaming at her that the child was to be taken care of by her.

She delicately closed her fingers around Rin's. Their hands fit perfectly together. She was meant to take that child under her wing. Women's intuition? No. Maternal instinct.

_End Of Flashback_

The memory of the warmth shared that day through their entwined fingers would always be living in their minds. Comforting them, reassuring them, making them happy. A precious memory they would never forget, whatever the ending of the story would be.

"Say, do you think I will be able to be an officer one day?" Rin asked.

Tsuyu grimaced a little. She knew her daughter's aim was to take an active part in the army, as a soldier herself, she was proud, but as a mother she couldn't help but be displeased. "Why not, you have the skills, and you train very hard, but you have to think of being a good soldier before thinking about ranks," she finally answered.

Rin beamed. "Of course! I am yet to be a soldier, but I plan to be it soon. Do you think I will be able to go with you on a mission?"

Tsuyu sighed. She really wasn't delighted by that idea, however she wouldn't try to change Rin's mind, her daughter being as stubborn as herself, it would be to no avail.

"We'll see that when the time comes."

Time was something Tsuyu had come to fear, if she had been able to she would have, and still would, kept/keep Rin for herself. Three years were nothing in a demon's life, but with Rin by her side, she had learnt to make the most of each month, day, minute even. Raising Rin was a pleasure, knowing she would have to let go of her someday was a heartbreak.

One day, Rin had asked her if she didn't regret to have saved her. _"Wouldn't it be better if you had a natural child, a demon child, rather than me? The others wouldn't speak bad about you."_ At first, Tsuyu had been too shocked to answer. Did she regret? Absolutely not. Would she rather have a demon child? She pondered a little longer, a child who would share her blood, a child who would be a bear demon... She had smiled at Rin and taken her in her arms. _"I have never regretted, and I will never. You are my child Rin, my daughter. I love you, it's all that mattered."_ She didn't need the natural part, blood didn't mean anything, love meant everything. She loved Rin. Period. _"Besides," she had playfully added later, "a natural child means a man, doesn't it? Do you really see me being tying down by a male?"_ Rin's laughter had warmed up Tsuyu's heart. They didn't need anybody else with them, as long as they were together, they didn't need anything.

"Tsuyu-" Rin began but was cut off by a movement of her adoptive mother.

"Hush! There are demons."

Rin froze. Being far away from the others, they would have to deal with danger, if danger there were, alone for a while. Their partners would need quite some time before reaching them.

Tsuyu pointed at a tree. Rin shook her head. She wouldn't hide, she could help, she would help. Tsuyu sighed, sometimes she regretted that her daughter was as stubborn as her. She should have tried to correct that trait of her character, well now was not the time, and it was probably already too late.

"Stand back," she ordered. "Do not move until I tell you. They are numerous. Demons. Dog demons."

Rin froze again. Dog demons? Why? Did she know them? Could Lord Sesshomaru be there too? Could Jaken be accompanying them? She chased these thoughts away. She shouldn't worry about that, besides Jaken was always with her former Lord, who, if his habits hadn't changed since, never went with his soldiers. He went alone – hiding as soon as enemies were showing themselves, Jaken's presence didn't really count.

She screamed when something knocked her down. She hit her head on a rock and felt the blood flowing down her temple. Rin cussed. She shouldn't have let herself being carried away, not in that situation, it was the mistake of a beginner. She gritted her teeth.

"Rin!" she heard her mother call. "Hold on! I'm coming!"

Rin couldn't see where her mother was, but she guessed she was busied with other demons, otherwise she would have already got rid of the attacker of her daughter.

"Oh no, no, no," sniggered a deep voice, "you are not going anywhere."

Rin didn't recognise the voice as one of those she had ever heard when she had, briefly, accompanied her former Lord to his land. She tried to get up, but the thing was resting on her stomach, preventing her from going anywhere.

"Move from there you... you... You are going to move or what!"

Eyes closed so as not to let the blood blind her, Rin pushed against the thing as forcefully as she could. It did not move.

"You big mutt!" she cussed.

The thing growled and bit her arm, hard. Rin screamed, the fangs had ripped her flesh apart. Tsuyu ran towards her daughter but couldn't reach her. Two dog demons caught her up by the arms and threw her away. She harshly landed against a tree.

"Bastards!" They were here to kill her, she guessed, because she seemed to be their main target. Rin had only been immobilised, even if this sole fact was enough to anger the mother she was. She could smell the blood of the girl, _her daughter's blood_. 'Fuck!' Soon Rin would arouse their interest too, not because of a mission, but because of their hunger.

"Rin! Cover your wound!"

"If it was so easy!" Rin retorted. "I have a... a... thing on my stomach!"

Rin finally resolved to open her eyes regardless of the blood which would taint them. She shivered she was now able to see the hideous dog demon sitting on her. He was half-transformed, his upper body no longer human, she glanced at the obvious deadly fangs and claws then she shivered once more. She didn't have a chance against that thing.

"Rin!"

The agony in Tsuyu's voice made her blood run cold. She had to have a chance. She had to fight, to help, to protect.

She surprised the demon by a knee blow into his back. He got up a little under the pain, creating enough space for the young teen to escape. As soon as she got on her feet she ran towards her adoptive mother.

Tsuyu was in a bad condition. Immobilised by three demons, she couldn't possibly defend herself while she was being beaten to death.

Rin threw herself at one of the demons, but he easily got rid of her. Getting up from the dust, Rin gritted her teeth. Of course, she was no match for them, but she wouldn't give up, at least not until their comrades join them up.

She ran again towards the dog demons. Maybe if she unnerved them enough, they would go after her and let enough room for her mother to escape.

Albeit Rin succeeded in fighting – rather throwing herself at the demons to be thrown away in the dust - until her comrades arrived, she didn't succeed in creating an opportunity for Tsuyu to escape.

"Toshiro!" Rin screamed, relieved to see her friend.

"Stand back! You're exhausted!" he ordered.

She nodded. He was right, she had been knocked-down so much – in five minutes at most - that she didn't feel her body anymore. She collapsed on the ground, her left arm hanging lifelessly by her side, dry blood stuck her eyelids stuck to her skin, but she didn't care, her comrades were the best, they couldn't be defeated. 'I'm safe,' she thought.

Later, she would realise how naïve she had been.

The bear demons were strong, the dog demons were stronger. Rin witnessed, horrified, the beating her comrades were victim of. They didn't have any chance to reach Tsuyu.

Rin started to suffocate. Her eyes were betraying her. Her ears were betraying her. _Everything_ was a traitor.

She covered her mouth with her right hand. Bile was rising up in her throat. She couldn't speak, scream. She couldn't move, help. She was helpless, as useful as a rag-doll.

The fangs were ripping the fleshes up. The claws were cutting through the skin, making the blood flow, a lot of blood.

Rin tried to call her mother's name, but the words died in her mouth. Her body was failing her at the worst time. She knew she would always regret it if she didn't move, but what could she do? If the true soldiers were being defeated how could she plan to win?

Her body didn't obey, wouldn't obey. She knew it, she loathed it. She was too weak to assure the safety of the people she loved. She was a failure.

She heard the sound of bones being broken. There, right in front of her eyes, her adoptive mother was being murdered. 'I can't do anything!' Rin was becoming crazy. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, her nails were digging into her chin, ruthlessly damaging her skin.

She was not alone, but her comrades couldn't do much than her. The dog demons were too many for them to handle. Too many, too blood-thirsty, they were here to kill, and they wouldn't leave until their mission was fulfilled.

Rin felt Toshiro's arms encircling her. She elbowed him aside. What was he doing by her side? He should be fighting! He made several attempts to hold her, in vain. She couldn't accept that she was the one being helped. It wasn't right.

"I can't go Rin. I can't. They will kill me," he whispered in her ear.

She forcefully shook her head. She knew he was right, but couldn't bring herself to believe what was happening.

Tsuyu wasn't unconscious yet. She could hear her comrades coming for her, she could hear their screams of pain, of agony, but she couldn't do anything. She had been too careless, her foes too well-prepared. Death was claiming her.

She wouldn't see her little Rin growing into a young woman. She wouldn't see her beat the hell out of those who would try to bring her down. She was going to die without even knowing her own daughter's past.

She clenched her fists, and contracted her muscles. She wouldn't die without fighting until the last second. In a desperate attempt to free herself she tried again to transform into her full demon form. Her body failed her.

She collapsed, not really conscious anymore, against the dirty ground. She heard Rin howled with despair and tears rolled down her cheeks. Three years were really too short.

She closed her eyes while a paw dug into her chest. 'I love you, my child.'

Rin passed out.

TBC


	5. Chapter 4 Adoption

Here is the chapter 4, I hope you'll like it even though I'm not really satisfied with it, but well, I think for now I can't do better with it.

I think you'll quickly understand that this is a flashback. I will do my best to update soon, but I will soon have to pass a big exam - le BAC - and so I don't know if I would be able to write much, but I'll nonetheless try !

Thank you for all your reviews it really encourages me =)

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><p><span>Chapter 4 Adoption<span>

"What did you have to bring back that thing? Do you understand how... how disgraceful it is!"

"I ask for an audience with our Lady, not for one of your lectures General Iroh," Tsuyu sighed.

She knew that it would be difficult, but there it was becoming ridiculous. She had always been allowed to talk to their Lady whenever she needed to, whenever she wanted to, just because the matter was a human didn't mean they – the counsellors, the generals - had to prevent her from doing as usual.

"Her majesty won't be pleased," the said General Iroh grumbled. "I prefer to wait for the meeting to be over before you go and ruin her mood."

"All right, all right. Tell me when I can see her. I will be in my room."

Tsuyu didn't wait for an answer and turned away from the demon. She was upset, really, really upset. She could have entered the room without permission, but it would have had a bad effect. Besides , if she wanted Rin to be safe, it was better to act as discreetly as possible, at least until Rin obtained Lady Natsuko's protection.

But how could she obtain it if they kept delaying their audience? 'If they try anything I swear I kill them.'

She got in her room and sat by an asleep Rin's side. In spite of her exhaustion, the child hadn't complained even once during their travel. She had refused to be carried, accepted whatever food Tsuyu gave her. She had followed the bear demon with an amazing stamina until they arrived, Tsuyu smiled at the memory, Rin had fallen asleep as soon as her head had touched the pillow.

"I don't know what you have been through, but I bet you have already travelled a lot little girl," the demon whispered while caressing Rin's forehead.

The young girl smiled in her sleep, used to the demon's touch.

"It took us three months to come back here. You are really something."

They had talked a lot during their travel, or rather Tsuyu had talked a lot, above all about the bear clan in order to prepare Rin to what she would have to face. Their customs, their rules, the difficulties they would have to overcome in order to be acknowledged as mother and daughter. Rin was still too amazed by the fact she was being adopted by a bear demon to worry about any thing. She had listened with attention, but hadn't really realised that it would soon be her reality, her life.

The idea of being adopted by Tsuyu, a demon, hadn't bothered her at all. Rin was glad to have crossed the path of somebody like her.

As time went by, she had learnt not to judge a person from their race. Human or demon, it didn't matter, the former could be as mean, as cruel, as the latter and vice-versa. Tsuyu was a good person, even if she had first meant to let her die, that was how the world in which they lived forced them to act. You had to think about your own matters before thinking about others'. In a world in which life was a ceaseless fight, you had to learn how to protect yourself before protecting unknown ones. Well, it should have been like that in their case, Tsuyu should have walked away from Rin, not bothering herself with the child's life, but she hadn't been able to do so, something had drawn her to Rin.

Three months had been enough for Rin to develop a growing affection for her new companion, her new mother - calling her thus was odd, but she would get used to it.

She wouldn't disappoint Tsuyu like she had surely disappointed her Lord, why would he have abandoned her if not for that reason? She was determined not to make the same mistakes again. She hadn't told Tsuyu about her past and would probably never do it. She wouldn't erase it from her mind, it was impossible, but she would try to think about it as little as possible. To live in the past was to live with regrets, to prevent yourself from being happy, to punish yourself in a way. Rin didn't want to live thus. Her past would always be a companion she could rely on when the need was felt, but she wouldn't let it be a permanent stick.

Tsuyu had an intuition about her adopted daughter's past, something told her it was surely had a trouble one. However, having herself led a painful life, she knew you weren't always willing to share your memories with others, so she wouldn't ask anything, but if one day Rin felt the need to confide, she would attentively listen to her.

"I will always be there for you," she tenderly murmured.

"So that's why I haven't seen you yet."

Tsuyu swiftly got up from the bed and respectfully bowed to the newcomer.

"As expected from you, I didn't surprise you. I'm getting bad."

A small smile stretched Tsuyu's lips. "Of course not my Lady. I know you, that's all. I wouldn't dare not to be able to recognise you," she honestly said. "I must add your visit is an honour."

"Cut the formalities out. I was truly worried."

Woken up by sounds of a discussion, Rin slightly moved in order to peek at the newcomer.

Natsuko, Lady of the Northern Land, was, when in her controlled form, looking like a relatively small woman. Her long hair held the colour of the sun, her eyes, dark green, shined with great intelligence. Rin shivered, the head of the bear clan looked exactly like Tsuyu had described her, with, in addition, a powerful aura which was certainly enough to frighten anyone. Rin promised herself to never anger her, her eyes were reflecting the same strength as _his,_ and she knew, by experience, that you never won against people of their level. Besides, what she had learnt about the History of the clan was enough to confirm her in her opinion.

The Lady of the Northern Land had overthrown her father when she was only nineteen years old, still a child for a demon. If her grandfather had been, and was still, respected by the whole clan as being a great Lord, severe but always fair, it wasn't the case of her father who, by the use of cowardly-sly schemes, succeeded in murdering his own parent to appropriate the power. Thus began a reign of wars, murders, and poverty. A reign in which Natsuko was born, a reign in which she was raised, a reign she - when her mother was executed, accused of treason because she was educating her daughter- swore to destroy through the man she didn't consider as her father any more.

Trained with the soldiers since her youngest age, used to go to the battlefield, to fight, to face death, she built herself on what her mother had taught her, her grandfather's words, his rules, his dreams to become a powerful and important figure in the army, and when she estimated herself ready enough, she stroke, defying the Lord in front of all the generals and the council, it was crazy, but she knew she could do it. She did it. The fight didn't last long, sure that nobody would try to overthrow him, the Lord had become lazy, too much for his own well. He was sentence to banishment, but was found killed before he could have been sent away. Natsuko didn't know who murdered him, she didn't care. The most important was that his reign was over, and that hers had just begun.

Rin decided to remain hidden behind Tsuyu's back as long as she wasn't ask to introduce herself. She wouldn't take any bold initiative in the presence of such an important person.

"I'm sorry my Lady, but you were so busy, I didn't want to bother you more, I thought it was wiser to wait a little."

"Damn Tsuyu I said drop the formalities. I'm tired of them. And please, don't lie to me."

"But-"

"Stop it. I know they didn't let you in."

"All right, Lady Natsuko," Rin saw a small smile appeared on the Lady's lips, "but if the generals are listening to us-"

Natsuko came closer to the bed. "They wouldn't dare," she sighed. "Not now, I have just frightened – and threatened them enough to be in peace for some days."

Rin swiftly closed her eyes as the woman took place on the bed. "So this is why they are preventing you from seeing me." She approached her hand but didn't go as far as touching Rin.

"She won't bite you, you know," Tsuyu laughed.

"Why did you bring her here? She is human."

Tsuyu nodded.

"And still a child. It's dangerous for her to be here. There are only a few humans with us."

Another nod.

"Is she ready to take the risk? Are you ready to take the risk?"

"You know me," were the only words Tsuyu pronounced.

The Lady smiled. "Of course, I know you." Her eyes landed on Rin again, her hand still above the skin. "She must be special if you have choosen her."

"She will become my daughter, a daughter of the clan, your clan, she will be trained like the other children and, one day, she will play an important role in your glory."

Rin's eyebrows twitched a little. She wasn't against the idea, in fact she was rather drawn by it, but she nonetheless doubted about the "important role in your glory", would she be able to do such a thing?

"Well I want to speak with her before deciding anything."

Rin held back a moan. She was still tired, and a little frightened, not at all in the mood for an interrogation. The moan was successfully held back, not the yawn.

"Rin, are you awake?" Tsuyu gently asked. "There is somebody who wants to speak with you."

The young girl sat up straight and bowed under the amused eyes of Tsuyu and those surprised of Natsuko.

"Let me introduce you," Tsuyu began. "This is Natsuko, Lady of the Northern Land, Ruler of the Bear Clan. My Lady, this is Rin, my soon-to-be, I hope, adoptive daughter."

Rin only bowed lower.

"She is well educated," Natsuko commented, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice. "Can you tell me your name by yourself? And how old are you?"

"My name is Rin, Lady. I am ten years old," she whispered.

'So young,' the Lady thought.

"Are you an orphan?"

Rin nodded, that was the truth after all.

"What have you been doing for the past ten years?"

"I have been travelling from village to village, Lady."

Natsuko couldn't help but be impressed by the child's behaviour, even though it was obvious she was lying. Nobody travelling from village to village – human village to be exact – would be able to behave so well, besides, except for the fear of which she was surely the cause, she didn't seem bothered to be in a place full of demons.

"Did you travel alone?"

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no, it depended, Lady."

Tsuyu was very proud of Rin, she wasn't making any mistake.

"Well, what do you think of being adopted by my general?"

Rin raised her head, finally daring to meet the Lady's gaze. She knew it was now or never. She had to be convincing.

"I would love to be raised by such a person as General Tsuyu. I would do my best not to burden her. I would obey her. I would obey you, Lady, with all the respect due to your position, and participate in the well functioning of the clan."

"Why do you use 'would' and not 'will'?"

"Because it would be presumptuous of me to use the latter, Lady. The decision is yours."

Rin hoped her voice hadn't revealed too much of her apprehension. She also thanked Jaken for all the times he had nagged her about formal speech, fortunately she had given heed to him enough to remember his lessons.

Tsuyu didn't need to hear Natsuko's decision to know that Rin had successfully defended her fate. The mere way Rin was looking at her, straightly in the eyes, would have been enough to convince the Lady, and her lie about her past didn't matter. Natsuko, as well as Tsuyu, didn't live in the past, but in the present, for the future, and Rin, through her words, seemed to share the same philosophy.

"You must be tired. Rest as long as you need child. We will bother with the formalities later."

Rin bowed again, a relieved smile on her lips. Maybe this time she would be able to fit in with the crowd.

"Welcome home Rin," Natsuko gently said before leaving the room.

Tsuyu tightly hugged Rin to her chest. "I'm so proud of you," she whispered in her ear. "You can sleep now. I won't ever leave your side. Promise."

_End of Flashback_

"The sky is shining with stars, one, among them, is the being for whom we are gathered here. It is time for us to bid her, the great general Tsuyu, farewell. It is time for us to wish her to be granted a peaceful rest. Tsuyu has never betrayed us, her clan, her friends, her family. Her death is a tragedy."

Natsuko came closer to wooden coffin. She put a hand on it while the other grabbed a torch.

"I'm sorry Rin isn't here. She hasn't woken up yet," she whispered, "but don't worry, I will take care of her. Promise."

She raised the torch above her head.

"Farewell," all the demons said while the coffin was set on fire.

"Farewell my friend," Natsuko murmured, not turning her eyes away as Tsuyu's body was disappearing.

Nature gave birth to them. Death gave them back to Her.

TBC


	6. Chapter 5 Take your time

**In order to apologise for the time when I won't be able to often update here is the chapter 5, a little shorter than the other I have to admit. With it, you will understand Rin's state of mind, I hope, in the next chapters. **

**Thank you very much - again and again- for all your reviews and even for your visits =) **

**Enjoy your reading !**

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><p><span>Chapter 5 Take your time<span>

Rin laid awake in her bed, eyes closed, tears running on her cheeks.

She had lost her family for the third time in less than thirteen years of existence.

Would she be able to recover this time? She doubted it.

Was she strong enough? She doubted it.

But Tsuyu had, like Sesshomaru had done many years before, saved her life, she didn't want to waste such a great present. In order not to waste it, she had to pull herself together and move on, she had to become somebody Tsuyu would have been proud of. However she wasn't even able to get out of her bed, how the hell was she supposed to become such a person?

She clenched her fists. Something had been put on her fingers so as to prevent her nails from tearing her flesh apart. A bitter laugh escaped her lips. They knew her enough to be sure she would only worsen her condition once awake.

"Don't you think it's time to wake up." Rin jumped but her eyes remained closed. "It's been four days since you passed out. We burnt her body yesterday. We couldn't wait more."

The mattress sank near her and Natsuko's hand touched her forehead. She didn't move.

"You still have a fever." The Lady waited for several seconds, but no reply was granted to her. "I know how you feel. I know how hurt you are. I know you want to be alone. But what you have to understand, Rin, what you must understand is that you can't stay in bed forever. I won't allow it."

Rin slowly unclenched her fists. Natsuko nodded, it was better than nothing.

"You are young, only thirteen years old, now is not the time to let sorrow overcome you. If you love Tsuyu, don't waste what she gave you, a chance to live among us, a chance to become someone. Don't waste it."

Rin moved her legs under the sheets.

"If you think you're alone you're wrong. I will always be there for you and not only because I have promised Tsuyu that I will always look after you. You are my ward. I care for you and I'm not the only one."

Rin grimaced while sitting up, she had instinctively leant on both her arms, forgetting that the left one was a mess.

Natsuko took one of her hands. She wouldn't act as the cold and distant ruler she was known to be. She wasn't here as the Lady of the Northern Land, she was by Rin's side as her protector, her friend.

"Rin. Do you want Tsuyu to be proud of you?"

Rin's eyes snapped open. "Yes," she whispered as loud as her dry throat allowed her to do.

Natsuko gently smiled at her. "Then fight," she said as she caressed the girl's cheek. "You don't have to forget her, and I understand your sorrow, mine won't disappear either, the key is to used your pain to your advantage. I'm not emotionless like a lot of people say. However, I control myself. I don't let my emotions overcome me, I use them. Learn to use yours and you will become stronger."

They were looking straightly into each other's eyes.

"Will you help me?" Rin shyly asked.

"Of course."

"I want to go back to train as soon as possible."

"I'm glad to hear that, but your training won't be the same. I have decided you will, from now on, follow the training to be a soldier of my personal guard. Your mission is to hold the same rank as Tsuyu did."

Rin blinked, surprised. "But I... I am... I am human!" she protested, her voice still rather low.

"I don't care about what you are, I care about who you are. I want you by my side Rin. I trust Tsuyu's opinion. She was sure you would have an important role to play in our clan. I trust her." Natsuko paused, studying Rin's face with attention. "You trust her too," she stated. Still holding the girl's hand, she lightly squeezed it. "Take your time to think about it. Your priority is to rest. I will come back later."

She kissed her forehead before walking towards the door.

"My Lady," Rin began.

"Yes Rin?"

"I will do my best. I will be a part of your personal guard. I won't be a burden. Promise."

"I know," the demon smiled, pleased by the determination in Rin's eyes and voice. "Toshiro will surely come to see you soon."

Rin waited to be alone before getting out of her bed. She needed to see the damages by herself. She had seen, in her Lady's eyes, that her rest could last as long as she wanted, was her sorrow marking her so much?

"Oh my!" she exclaimed while discovering her reflection.

It was worse than she thought. How did she manage to become thus in four days of sleep? Sorrow. She had visibly lost some weight. Even though her left arm was covered with clean bandages, she remembered the fangs tearing her flesh apart and winced.

"It will hurt for a while longer," she murmured to herself.

The wound on her forehead had already healed, it hadn't been deep enough to leave a permanent scar, however she knew her arm would keep one forever, the lower part of her face too. Her chin was covering by scars she had herself caused in her state of hysteria. She took off the gloves covering her hands. She lightly traced the contour of her face.

"A memory I will learn to live with."

She wouldn't hurt herself more. A good soldier was a healthy soldier. She would recover as quick as she could, and go back to train. She was only thirteen, she had plenty of time to improve.

"It's good to see you awake."

Rin turned around, a small smile stretching her lips. "Are you all right Toshiro?"

The demon nodded. "Stop worrying about others. What about you? You should be resting."

"I slept for four days."

"Not enough," Toshiro said while picking her up. "How long did Natsuko say you could rest?"

Rin shrugged. "She didn't precise anything. As long as I can stand and walk alone I think it's all right."

She laid again in her bed. In spite of the past four days, her body was still exhausted, but before surrendering to its will, she wanted to have some answers.

"How many of us made it alive?" she asked.

Toshiro sat beside her. "Six out of ten."

"Who died?" She needed to know.

"Well, Tsuyu, the two lieutenants who were with us and Bountaro's mother."

Rin nodded. "Did we find why we were attacked?"

"No. All the dog demons fled before the reinforcements could reach us. It's not the first time we suffer from such an attack and surely not the last."

"But it's the first time it's perpetrated by dog demons. It's strange, I thought there was peace between the dog demons' clan and ours."

A laugh escaped Toshiro's lips. Rin looked at him with wide eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're really something, you know?" he suddenly stopped laughing. "Seriously Rin, stop worrying about others. We'll talk about that later. How do you feel?"

Rin lowered her gaze to the sheets. "Sad, furious, frustrated, exhausted... I need time, but it doesn't mean I will stay in bed forever, brooding is useless."

"You're stronger than you look Rin," Toshiro commented. "Bountaro hasn't said a word yet, and he doesn't plan to leave his room for a long time."

"He has lost his mother."

"You too, and you're younger than him."

"So what? Everybody can't react in the same way. If he needs to be alone then let him be alone."

Her tone had been harsher than she wanted. However Toshiro didn't take it for him.

"I know Rin. I know. Do you want me to leave?" Rin nodded, holding back a yawn. "Rest well. I will come back later. Oh, by the way, I learnt we will train together from now on. Isn't it great?"

Rin smiled back at him. Natsuko was right, she wasn't alone at all.

"I will do my best Tsuyu," she whispered as she closed her eyes, surrendering to her exhaustion. "I will protect that clan you loved so much, at all costs-"

Sesshomaru's face popped up in her mind.

"And against anybody," she added through gritted teeth. "Promise."

TBC


	7. Chapter 6 Still not strong enough

**Chapter 6 out ! Hope you'll like it. The examens are coming soon, I can't say when I will be able to update.**

**Thanks for all your reviews! I really appreciate them =) They give me all the energy I need to write ^_-**

**I hope the story is not getting boring, I'm sorry I know what you're waiting for (Sess...) well he can't come right now, 'cause Rin isn't ready yet :p **

**Well enjoy your reading! See ya!  
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><p><span>Chapter 6 Still not strong enough<span>

She fell backwards until she saw his leg above her. Quickly, she grabbed it and pulled its owner face against ground. Bountaro succeeded in stabilizing himself at the last minute, but Rin didn't waste time. She kicked him on the side, then on the legs, on the side again, she would have kept this rhythm if he hadn't punched her in the face.

"Bastard," she cussed, shaking her head. Her blurry vision wouldn't prevent her from striking.

She broke some of Bountaro's ribs. It wouldn't actually happen if he was in his true-form, but for now all he could do was to bear the pain she was inflicting on him. It was his fault for having bet he would bring her down in whatever form he was.

"Focus!" Rin shouted, violently elbowing him. "On a battle field you would be dead!"

They were fighting without being allowed to. If they were to be discovered, there would be serious consequences. And yet, they didn't stop, they kept on attacking each other. They needed to settle that matter, to know who was the best.

"On a battle field I would be in my full demon form and you would be dead, poor human!" he snorted.

Rin frowned. "What?"

"You know what I mean! You are still alive because when we fight against you we have to suppress our full form. Or else," he sniggered, "we would have already beaten you to death."

Anger rose inside Rin. How did he dare? "Go on then!"

Bountaro's eyes went wide. What was she saying? Had she become crazy?

"You want me to kill you?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"No," she shook her head, "I want you to be in your true-form. Go on. It will be our secret."

"When you are dead, it won't be a secret any more," he smirked.

"We'll see."

Rin knew she was being stupid, but she couldn't help it. It had been three years since their mothers both died. Three years during which Bountaro's anger towards Rin had grown bigger and bigger, because she was human, because she had survived in a fight in which his mother, a powerful demon, had lost her life. He couldn't accept that. Besides, his pride couldn't bear the fact that her training was in order for her to hold a higher position than his was preparing him to have. He would prove to everybody what a weak being she was. He would prove he was better than her, worthier of her attention than her.

She had been lucky to survive until now, but her luck was about to end today, by his own hands, a sneer slowly stretched his lips.

"Ready to die?"

Rin didn't answer. She knew she couldn't possibly win against a full-transformed demon, or at least not without enduring great damage, but the fact that Bountaro wasn't too powerful, and also that she craved for him to bite the dust brought her to think she might have a chance- as little as it was.

"I allow you one weapon."

Rin merely pointed at the scabbard tightly fastened around her thigh.

Bountaro laughed while slowly transforming. What could a dagger do against him? Rin silently watched as a bear of six and a half feet appeared in front of her. His fur was as black as the wings of a raven. His eyes, red, were shinning with a malicious intent.

'I am dead,' would be the thought of a normal human in front of such a creature. However, Rin wasn't a normal human, rather than cowering in fear, she contracted her muscles, ready to fight, ready to win._ 'Never think a fight is lost before it even begins even if you think you have no chance.'_

The demon didn't waste time. He hurried straight to her, claws ready to draw blood, her blood, with an obvious pleasure. Rin dodged once, stepping backwards, but couldn't do the same with his second attack. She felt the fur on her arm before being fully hit by his paw. Despite him throwing her away, Rin quickly caught her balance again and firmly landed on her feet, a content smirk on her lips. The human wouldn't be so easy to be brought down. She heard him growl in annoyance and prepared for his next assault.

The bear chose to keep the same strategy, he would strike and strike again until she couldn't get on her feet any more. His paw ripped her clothes, exposing the bandages circling her chest. Rin gritted her teeth.

'Perverted bear!'

She kicked him in the stomach, but it didn't seem to affect him. She tried to kick his legs, to punch his arms, but everything seemed to be useless. Her strikes were mere stings of insect for him. She had to do better.

Discretely folding her knees, she took a strong impulse and, flipping backwards, aimed her leg at his chin. A satisfying crack was heard. She had finally broken some bones. _'The head is usually the weakest part of a demon. If you don't have an useful weapon, then aim for it.'_ Bountaro whined in pain. Rin couldn't help but chuckle, she had always been a smart student, she could recall all she had learnt in those three years, what was visibly not his case. There were no strategy behind his attacks, no precise aim if not the one to hurt, he simply fought like a beast. A beast Rin was having a hard time to fight.

He punched her, she kicked him.

Even if her legs were her best weapon against him, jumping to reach his head would soon exhaust her. She had to find something else, she had to think harder. Suddenly, Bountaro caught one of her feet and sent her crashing down onto the ground, swallowing dust in the process, then he literally jumped on her while she was knocked-down, leaving her lying breathless.

"I won," Bountaro laughed. "I-" he couldn't end his sentence, cut off by a painful sensation in his arm.

He watched with horror as Rin was leaning on his arm, more precisely on a dagger _sticking into_ his arm.

"Bitch!" he howled, throwing her away with a powerful blow.

Rin surprisingly succeeded in keeping her balance. Their fight had lasted more than ten minutes at most, but she was already, exhausted, wounded, struggling not to pass out. She was a mess, what could a mess do against a beast?

"Fuck!" she cussed. Her adversary was only bleeding from one spot, and the kicks she had inflicted on his head hadn't been sufficient to really weaken him. "Fuck!" she repeated louder.

"You surrender?"

She spat at him.

"Well, if death is what you want. Please Rin, do not be angry," he mockingly simpered.

Bountaro caught the glimpse of her dagger too late to dodge it. He screamed in agony when the blade cut through his left eye.

"Idiot," Rin hissed. "I won't die."

The demon caught her under his arm and pinned her to the ground. Rin saw his claws aiming for her chest, like the dog demon had done with her mother. She didn't close her eyes. She wasn't surrendering. She would find a way, even if it was at the last minute, she would find one.

Bountaro was taking his time, savouring his success. Rin was violently trashing under his pressure, trying to make him move a little, to no avail. She was trapped.

"No way!" she shouted. "No way!"

Tears of frustration gathered up in her eyes. No way! She couldn't die! She wouldn't die! Her breath caught up in her throat. The claws had reached the flesh.

"Rin!"

She was suddenly freed from Bountaro's weight, Toshiro's voice ringing in her ears.

"Rin! Are you okay? Rin! You calm down!"

Rin turned her head in the direction of the voice and saw Bountaro being harshly pinned against the ground, Toshiro above him, a gorgeous white bear against a deadly black one. She bitterly smirked, she knew she couldn't die here, but she should have been able to free herself. She had failed. She was still not strong enough.

"Rin! What craziness was that?" She recognised Natsuko's voice, then something bluntly picked her up. "You stupid child! What did you want? To die?"

Rin guessed the person was angry, she had her name on the tip on her tongue, she had just thought it, but couldn't remember who she was nor why she was angry any more. Her body started to shake. She was cold, damn! Cold wasn't even true, she was frozen!

"Rin?"

"Fetch Jimbo! She is losing consciousness!"

Her chest hurt like hell, it worsened when something was pressed against it. She tried to scream, but no sound came out of her mouth.

"Rin, don't you dare die on us!" were the last words she heard before her world became pitch-black.

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><p>Rin tried to stretch but her body wouldn't respond to her will. She frowned. What had happened? Why did- suddenly it hit her, and her hands started to shake.<p>

"What a... What a... a... a fool!" she exclaimed punching the mattress. "It was so stupid... so stupid... what if they hadn't come... what if... So stupid!"

Tears of anger rolled down her cheeks. Tsuyu wouldn't have been proud of her behaviour, nor Lord Sesshomaru. Neither of them would have let their frustration gain the upper hand. They would have kept on ignoring the bother. They-

"You're still a child," Natsuko said as she entered the room. She knew, the second she saw Rin's face, what she was thinking. "You're only sixteen."

Rin shook her head. "It's not an excuse," she sobbed with frustration.

"True," Natsuko agreed before violently slapping the teenager.

Rin lowered her head. She deserved it.

"You're a child, but you should be clever enough not to get involved in such trivial matters. This is the first and last time, do you understand?"

"Yes, my Lady."

"I won't repeat myself Rin. I won't ever allow that to happen again."

"It won't happen any more, my Lady."

A sigh escaped Natsuko's lips. It was time for her to drop the formal tone. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"I don't really know. I guess I wanted to prove I was more than a mere human."

"Rin, we have already had that conversation you-"

"I'm still not strong enough!"

Natsuko touched Rin's chest. The teenager successfully held back a grimace.

"He dug here, deep enough to leave a scar- one more," the Lady explained. "You're strong Rin. You instinctively contracted your muscles and protected your heart with your arms. If you hadn't done that, you would be dead by now. You prevented his claws from directly hitting their target."

"But-"

"There is no but Rin, you are human. Of course you are different from us, demons, but it doesn't mean you're weak. You are far from being weak. If you doubt it, I would gladly say it again and again, but not in these circumstances! Bringing you to Jimbo has become a habit, a bad habit."

"When I train I get injured, I can't help it," Rin murmured. "It's the same for the others."

"I know, I don't speak about the training sessions, I'm talking about the fights you get engaged in with those who defy you. Remember Rin, control in the main thing, your main weapon."

Rin nodded. She knew. Of course she knew! But she couldn't help it, when one of those cocky bastards were mocking her, insulting Tsuyu, anger gained the upper hand.

"Well, if you still think you're not doing enough I agree to strengthen your training. In two years I want you to be an official member of my personal guard."

Rin gasped. Two years? It was way too short! It was impossible! She was about to protest but Natsuko took the lead.

"You want to be strong. Then be it and don't argue."

The Lady got up. Her decision was harsh and hasty, but if it could help Rin, she wouldn't regret it. That girl wanted to do things that ordinary took years to be mastered, the only way was the hard one.

"Rin," she called before passing the door.

"Yes?"

"Be sure, in two years, to be successful, but don't forget that the greatest victories happen when people work together."

TBC


	8. Chapter 7 A reminder

**Well, here's the chapter 7, I try to keep working on that story, I don't want to make you wait too much, but my examens start next week, so I don't think there would be any updates before one or two weeks. **

**Thanks for all your reviews! I'm really glad you're eager to see Sesshomaru but please understand that this story mostly focus on Rin, so be a little patient ^^ (and don't threaten me it'll change nothing) there will be enough of Sesshomaru's presence later to satisfy you =) - to be honest, he'll be present in the next chapter.**

**Enjoy your reading ! See ya!**

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><p><span>Chapter 7 A reminder<span>

The smell was so disgusting they were forced to pinch their noses in order not to be sick or faint. Corpses were piled on the ground, hung from trees, whole or in pieces, demons or humans, old or young, they were everywhere.

A shiver ran down Rin's spine, her foot had bumped into something, or rather somebody, it had to be a person, a victim, how could it be otherwise? She clenched her fists. She wanted to look, she had to know. No, she had to keep walking, to keep following Toshiro while he was leading the team. They hadn't reached the other side of the village yet, foes could still be there, waiting for her to be distracted, waiting for the right time to strike. She had to remain focused on the totality of her surroundings, not only on one spot. It would be the wisest thing to do. It would have been the wisest thing to do. Her face suddenly turned pale, she had lowered her gaze.

Her foot had touched a child, a young girl of eight years at most, her face forever frozen in a mask of pure terror, her torso... mutilated, her legs.. missing. Rin's throat went drier and drier. Claw marks were visible on the child's arms and her face was bloodstain, her hands had visibly clung onto her doll until the end. The toy was... Rin turned away to throw up.

"Rin! You need to keep your mind clear."

She waved Toshiro's advice away, and squatted down beside the child. She knew she couldn't allow herself to be angry, disgusted, outraged or anything else for that mattered, right now she had to remain as emotionless as possible in order to capture the scene for what it was, not for the feelings it aroused in her, the former would allow her to find the culprits, the latter would only blind her.

She took a deep breath and gently closed the little girl's eyes. She wouldn't shed tears now, it was not the time, but she swore that whoever was responsible of such a slaughter she would make them pay.

"They will be properly buried," she said to the closest soldier by her side. "I let you take care of that."

The soldier silently bowed. He knew better than to go against one of Lady Natsuko's personal guards' order.

"Rin! Come here!"

Rin went to Toshiro, all the way looking straightly at the victims. She wouldn't turn away from the reality, as cruel as it was. She wanted these images to be engraved on her mind, after the analysis, after having gathered all the information which could help them solve the enigma, she would focus on the feelings they awakened in her, she would preciously keep them, asleep first, then, when the time of the confrontation came, when her determination faltered, they would become her ally.

Demons' bodies were sprawled on humans' ones, the bear demons had done their best to protect the village and its inhabitants. As she walked farther into the village, Rin's heart swelled with pride. It hadn't mattered who was what, demon or human, in this village, there had only been neighbours, friends, families, living creatures who had willingly given their lives to save the ones they loved, unfortunately...

"They are all dead," she murmured.

"Yes," Toshiro nodded, his face was tensed. "It's the third village in two months. It can't be a coincidence."

"It has never been."

"Humans and demons, none has been spared," he commented.

"The whole clan is targeted, isn't it? This village and its inhabitants were under our protection. These humans and demons were living together in peace, like in the previous villages."

Toshiro pointed at something on the ground. "Take a look at that."

As Rin studied the corpse, surprise and horror transformed her features.

"You don't mean?" she asked, dumbfounded by who was laying in front of her.

"He is a soldier," Toshiro confirmed. "It's never been a joke Rin, but this is much more serious than we thought. These attacks aren't from stupid rebels, or isolated groups. From what I see those who attack us belong to-"

"The Western clan of the dog demons," Rin finished his sentence.

Toshiro grimly acquiesced.

"But-" she stopped, not trusting her voice.

Several clans of dog demons existed, it had always been a fact to which she clung, to which she had to cling in order to keep him away, to clear him of all those murders. The ones who had killed Tsuyu were certainly linked to the ones who kept on attacking their clan, but she had always been persuaded that they couldn't belong to_ his_ clan.

She tightly closed her eyes. Their behaviours didn't suit his usual orders at all, he would never act so despicably. He was too dignified, too proud and far too powerful to lower himself to such base acts. Rin's eyes flashed open, maybe they hadn't looked well, maybe he was from another-

"If that one is from the Western clan. No doubt the others are too," Toshiro whispered to her, thus destroying her hope, before giving his orders to the rest of their group. "You six take care of the tombs. Do a proper job. I will personally verify. You four go to the nearby villages. Tell them to be careful and that reinforcements will soon be sent. You two go back to the palace and make a report to our Lady."

Rin couldn't turn away from the soldier's body, his clothes were unmistakably those of _his_ army, the evidence was there, right in front her eyes, and yet she was still hoping they had misunderstood something, maybe he had just happened to stop in the village while travelling back to his Lord, maybe he was only a victim, totally innocent, maybe he-

"Rin!" She jolted. "I would like you to listen to me," Toshiro reprimanded her, "we are still on duty."

Rin sheepishly nodded. Albeit he was her friend and they were both official members of Natsuko's personal guard, Toshiro was still her superior, a fact he often had to remind her of.

"Well, I was saying we shouldn't divulge that information. No need to bring panic among the troops before the hypothesis becomes a certainty. First, we need to find a reason."

"A reason?" Rin was too busied trying to clear _him_ of this responsibility to fully pay attention to Toshiro's words, she heard them without understanding what they meant.

Toshiro sighed, exasperated by Rin's obvious lack of attention. "Yeah, a reason, why would the Western clan attack us?"

Rin frowned. "I don't see any reason for that. The border between our territory has been accepted a long time ago, and since I live with the clan, I haven't ever heard about any complaints."

It was true, since the bear clan had accepted her, Rin had lived in the palace, a place only separated from Sesshomaru's palace by a week of walk, and, well aware of that fact, she had always paid attention to any rumours concerning the leader of the Western Land and his clan. Never had she heard something about any feud or disagreement involving both of them.

Remembering that somehow reassured her. There had to be another explanation.

"I'll see how they are doing. Wait a minute."

Rin didn't bother to answer and sat, cross-legged, on the ground. Whatever her feelings for Toshiro were, they were not able to make him pass before the infamous Lord of the dog demons.

Sesshomaru hadn't ever left her mind, not even once since the day he left her in Inuyasha's care. Knowing he was so close had been a mental torment, because she knew she had the means to see him, by telling the truth to Tsuyu, who would have certainly understood and taken her to him, or by going by herself after Natsuko gave her more independence, however she had never done either of that. 'Never had the courage,' she sadly thought. What would she have told him? How would he have reacted? Those two questions were still valid and sufficient to convince her she wasn't ready yet to see him again. She wouldn't meet with him as long as she didn't feel confident enough. She didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of his eyes, not after all the efforts she had made to become a person worthier of standing by his side, a person he would regret to have abandoned.

She shook her head. She was older, but it didn't mean she was wiser enough to get rid of her childish anger. She wanted him to be regretful, at least a little, even though she had had a weak body, he should have understood her mind had always been worth of his company. Thinking thus was sure presumptuous, but the years spent inside the clan of the Northern Land had brought her to that conclusion. After all, demons and humans all lived in the same world. Race meant nothing else than origin, it didn't determine people's fate. It was merely a characteristic of their individuality.

"Your fate belongs to you and only you, you are its sole master," she murmured. She believed in that, she loved that, and would Sesshomaru have had a demon pride a little less consequential, he would also have understood that, even as a human, Rin could have grown up by his side. It could have been her fate.

"Rin? Are you listening to me?"

She jolted again. Lost in her thoughts she hadn't remarked Toshiro's return.

"No, no, sorry. I was thinking," she admitted while putting some locks away from her face.

Toshiro collapsed beside her. "Focus a little Rin."

"Sorry but I... it... it doesn't make any sense," she said, hoping Toshiro would agree. "There must be another explanation"

"Don't know. True, the Lord of the Western Land doesn't have any reason to attack us and he wouldn't get anything by doing it, but-"

"So there is another explanation," Rin exclaimed.

She crossed her fingers, with some chance her friends didn't perceive the hope in her voice.

"But," Toshiro repeated, scowling at her, "we can't neglect anything. Plus, I don't think there is another clan able to do so well."

"Well?" she asked with a quizzical look.

"You know what I mean. They are skilled enough to avoid our troops and we haven't been able to capture any of them" he clenched his fists, "I don't see any other clan able to make fun of us like that."

"What will happen if they really are from the West? I mean, will there be a war?" Rin asked while lowering her head, thus hiding her face from her companion.

"Don't know," Toshiro shrugged. "It would be terrible though. Lord Sesshomaru isn't known for his mercy. If there is war it will be a tough one. I think our troops are equal, but there is no certainty. Besides, if they are responsible for the previous attacks, they have to be ready to face us at any time."

Rin nodded. She could see the logic in his words, but that he thought another clan as well trained as Sesshomaru's didn't exist didn't mean it was the truth.

"I guess our training will be strengthened again," Toshiro continued.

"I guess you're right, but it's necessary to prevent things like that to happen again," she said, her mind immediately putting Sesshomaru aside to focus on the vivid memories of the recent victims.

"You take too much weight on your shoulders."

"I don't want to be a hero. I know I won't be able to prevent tragedies from happening," she retorted. "And I won't protect everyone, it's simply impossible, but about our clan, I want to do my best."

"Don't you want to live in a world without wars, fights, murders?"

"It would be boring, wouldn't it?" she winced, appalled by her words. "Sorry I-"

"I totally agree," he laughed, cutting her off. "I prefer a good fight rather than a good nap."

Rin didn't comment. She wouldn't take the risk to start a quarrel with him. Her words had left her mouth too rapidly, she didn't think them. A peaceful world, actually it would be ideal, but she knew it was unrealistic. It was why she said it would be boring, because if there was nothing to fight for, nothing to protect, there would be nothing to do any more, life wouldn't have a purpose any more. However, it didn't mean she liked to fight – certainly to train, and to exercise, but fighting in order to kill, she loathed it.

Tsuyu's words rang in her head. _'We build our life on what we face. If we don't face anything how could we build something decent?'_ Younger, Rin hadn't agreed with that at all. A peaceful world where she would live with those she loved, not fearing to lose them, nor to be abandoned, because there wouldn't be such stupid beliefs as superiority or inferiority, it would have been a dream she would have gladly lived in.

Then, little by little, in spite of all the trials she had met, she had come to understand such a world would only be dull, too, for her liking. Being a soldier, protecting people, fighting for their lives, belonging to a clan, it made her feel alive. Tsuyu had been proud when her little girl had come to such a conclusion. An evidence of maturity. _'You can't live in a dream all your life. It would be dangerous, you wouldn't know how to face reality.'_ It was all right to dream such a world, not to believe it was a possibility, if she did, she wouldn't last long, condemned to death by her own foolishness.

"Well," Toshiro said, jerking her out of her thoughts, "I hope there is another explanation. Our loss would be terrible if we had to fight that clan." A strange light suddenly shined in his eyes. "But, I admit it could also be interesting. Imagine if I was able to win against the infamous Lord Sesshomaru! If I could bring him down... Rin! Imagine the glory! Get up! Hurry!"

Rin raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"We need to report everything and quickly go back to train. I want to be ready!"

There was no doubt about who would win the fight if Sesshomaru and Toshiro were to face each other one day. 'But that won't happen,' she thought, 'there is another explanation. Natsuko will surely find it.'

"Rin! What are you still doing on the ground? Hurry!"

She frowned, even if there was no chance for such a thing to ever happen, she would nonetheless tell Natsuko about Toshiro's eagerness to face the Lord of the Western Land. To her, he seemed a little too eager, a little too attracted by glory and power.

A tiny feeling of guilt gripped, but she quickly chased it away. It was normal to be worried by his behaviour, even though he was a friend, because like the trainers often said: a spirited horse was more dangerous than a sick or lazy one.

TBC


	9. Chapter 8 Suspicions

Here is the chapter 8. I found some time to write a little, I hope it turned out well - at least I hope it's not too bad. Well I dare say there is one positive element and this is... this is... yeah our Sesshomaru is present in that chapter ! (didn't you wait long enough? :p )

I really want to thank you for all your reviews ! You can't imagine how happy I am when I read one =] Please keep on reviewing!

Hope you'll enjoy your reading!

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><p><span>Chapter 8 Suspicions<span>

As the meeting went by, Goro's eyes didn't leave his Lord. He attentively watched every move, every feeling crossing his features. He wouldn't miss any. In his opinion, Sesshomaru was far from being worth of the position he held, Lord of the Western Clan, which requested diplomacy and restrain. When you held such a position, you couldn't allow yourself to give in all your whims, the others' interests had to be put before yours, the others' representing the clan, the Lord only being the voice of the clan, not its head, not its opinion.

As much as he had respected Sesshomaru's father, Goro couldn't quite understand why such a powerful being had left his throne to one of his sons, both so unworthy of the honour. The first was a feisty one, only listening to himself, only caring about himself, and the second, Goro felt ashamed for his former Lord, the second was a half-breed who willingly chose to mate with a human, like father like son. In its misfortune, the clan had been lucky enough not to inherit Inuyasha, no doubt he would have been its downfall. However, it didn't make Sesshomaru worthier of the title.

Goro held back a sigh, frustrated by the vain attempt of a younger counsellor to convince their Lord about – well, about what he couldn't tell, he had long stopped paying attention to their futile requests.

The council too, if you asked him, deserved to be changed. It was a pity he was now the eldest and the last of those who had given its glory to the clan during the reign of Sesshomaru's father. His old comrades were dead, killed by their thirst of power, or because of their loyalty, actually both were stupid reasons really. Goro was devoted to the clan, but not to the point of giving his life away. 'Neither are they ready to do it,' he thought while briefly glancing around. The new generation was made up of power-thirsty sly cowards, led by a Lord way too proud for his own well. The fate of the Western Clan was definitely unsure, even more if a war were to be started between them and the Northern Clan. 'Oh right, that's the subject of the meeting.'

"But my Lord!" was crying a pitiful-looking counsellor on his right. "We can't let them believe they are stronger, since they have already made a move we should do the same! No! Better! We should attack! It will discourage them to brag further."

'Alas they don't brag.' Goro was appalled by the very stupidity of the words. True, the bear demons had sent reinforcements near the border of their two territories, but the move didn't seem to be destined to them, how could they decently assure it was intimidation? If they attacked now, there would be a war, and it would do no good to either of them. The Western clan, as weak as its leaders were, wouldn't be easily defeated - he had to admit Sesshomaru was quite skilled in the art of war - however the Northern clan wasn't one to play with. In fact, their strengths matched each other, a war would be catastrophic for both of them.

"I agree! They are making it very clear they want to start a war!"

He nearly slapped the demon beside him. What a naïve fool! They were bringing reinforcements up to the border because they had been attacked a lot in that region recently. They were attacked, they strengthened their defences, logical. The fact that it had happened near their border shouldn't matter so much. It was evident the whole situation was just a misunderstanding.

"We need to reinforce ours too! They've been taunting us for far too long!"

Maybe not for everybody. From the dark gaze – darker than usual – of his Lord, Goro could tell the situation was truly pissing him off.

The bear and the dog demons had never been friendly neighbours, feuds and fights regularly happening, but they had never been of a great importance, never big enough to start a war, not even to rouse the idea of one in the leaders' minds.

Why was this move taking such proportions? Goro could foresee a trap. Would their leader be able to avoid it? He swiftly glanced at Sesshomaru. Surprisingly enough, he hadn't ordered them to shut up yet, contenting himself with straightly staring at the door opposing his seat. Several times Goro had thought he was about to rip one of the fools apart, but he had held himself back, or rather something had held him back. It bothered Goro not to be able to know what thoughts were keeping his Lord to act as usual.

Perhaps it was something the hideous imp called Jaken had said earlier, something about humans working with bear demons, he thought he remembered the toad had even given them a name. The name of a young woman who seemed to hold a high rank in the army, at least high enough to order the lowest soldiers around. How had he called her, oh yeah Rin, that was the name. It hadn't immediately rung a bell, but now that he thought again, he was certain he had already heard it in the past recent years.

If he could remember when and where – obviously in the castle since he hadn't left it for the last century – then maybe he would be able to understand his Lord's sudden diplomacy towards the stupidities flying around the room.

"You've heard what the toad said! There are humans among them! Humans!" the youngest counsellor put a lot of emphasis on the last word. "I bet they've been corrupted!"

Demons corrupted by humans? Goro made a huge effort not to burst into laughter. That was definitely the more ridiculous thing he had heard in the past thirty minutes. Albeit he was amused, he had to speak if he wanted to stick to his usual self.

"Think a little more before speaking Kiyosuke!" he suddenly exclaimed, perfectly playing his role of an old-fashioned counsellor, only preoccupied by his seat among the council and his dull life. "You mean humans could be controlling a whole clan of demon? Or at least the leaders of the clan? Do you think the bear demons are so weak? Whatever they are, they remain demons. They can't have fallen so low!"

Satisfied by the look of utter shame in Kiyosuke's eyes, Goro leant back in his chair. It pleased him to still be able to rouse such feelings with the sole use of his voice. He wasn't ready to be thrown out yet. Sesshomaru didn't seem to even notice his intervention though, still pondering over whatever was in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more he was certain his passivity was somehow linked with the mention of that human. Maybe if he pushed things a little further...

"I don't understand either why they are daring to mix themselves with such low beings! Humans as soldiers! I admit it's really a shame, but there has to be something behind that! Demons can't possibly accept to work willingly with humans," he vehemently spat.

With all the emphasis he had put on humans and demons, he was sure to get some reaction from his Lord, even the slightest twitch of the bow would satisfy him, and it did. Sesshomaru's features darkened a bit more, a so small change that nobody remarked it, except him, after all he had been looking for it, Goro didn't miss the new expression, from which he deduced the relationship between humans and demons was what was keeping their Lord's attention away from their insignificant chattering.

The next mystery to solve was why he was so drawn by that. 'Rin,' he thought again. That name did ring a bell, if only his memory wasn't so full of different, useless, names. Some belonged to persons he would never meet again, some belonged to dead people, some to foes he had killed a long time ago, some didn't mean anything, not having a face to be linked to any more. However that name, he was sure it belonged to the recent memories, he had heard it in the past ten years, not much, it wouldn't stand out so much if it was. If he had surely not pronounced it himself, he had talked about that person, he had minded her enough for her name to bother him years later. Something big had happened and that name had been related to it. He had to remember.

'A human, it shouldn't be so difficult to remember a matter involving a human and the Lord.' He frowned. Why did not he think about it earlier? A human involved with the Lord, there had been such a scandal years ago, ten to be exact. The affair had brought the council to think their Lord had lost his head. Yeah, he remembered now. Ten years ago, Lord Sesshomaru had returned from his trip accompanied by his two usual companions and a weak creature, a new burden, a human child. He had dared force them to tolerate her presence. The child were to stay with them, inside the castle, and not as a servant, but as a permanent guest, becoming Lord Sesshomaru's ward.

'The biggest and most entertaining scandal involving the Lord himself we have had since the beginning of his reign,' a flash of amusement passed through Goro's eyes, fortunately nobody was paying him attention enough to notice. Of course, he hadn't supported their Lord in his foolishness. He had stood up against him with the council, watching him struggling with the rules fixed by tradition and his own will.

The match had been a tough one, and Lord Sesshomaru might have won it if his opponents hadn't been so serious about getting rid of the undesirable. After an umpteenth murder attempt on the girl, their Lord had left with her and when he had come back, it had been alone. For once the mighty and proud Sesshomaru hadn't successfully imposed his will.

Goro held back a smirk, so the child was actually coming back. He glanced at Sesshomaru who caught his move. They intently stared at each other. The old counsellor wasn't deceived by his Lord's passivity, the latter wasn't fooled by his supposed subordinate's silence. Both demons knew more than they were letting appear.

If Goro's decision was to passively watch how the things would go, Sesshomaru couldn't help but swear to keep an eye on the counsellor. Never trusting anyone, he wasn't about to start now, let-alone the cunning old male.

Usually, Sesshomaru was able to read people surrounding him pretty well, but the old demon never stopped to surprise him. He knew he wasn't content with him taking the throne after his father, Goro had hoped the council would govern alone, however he had never openly contested his authority, nor had he ever criticized him. During the meetings, he would often remain silent, only talking to defend the superiority of the demons, of the dog demons, over the other living beings. Goro was a conservative, always had been, always would be, in spite of the changes he had sometimes supported.

To be honest, Sesshomaru didn't understand the demon's behaviour at all. He had the power to set the whole council against him, but never did it. That being was a mystery in himself, a threatening one, and now that Rin's name had been mentioned again, the threat seemed to have grown bigger.

When the name had left Jaken's lips, Sesshomaru hadn't been immediately alarmed. Rin was a common name among humans, it didn't necessarily mean it was _her_. However, the more he had heard about the woman, the more it had become obvious they were the same person, that soldier and the precious memory he kept in his mind. The physical appearance fit the projection of her as an adult he had so often imagined. The tormented look on Jaken's face had only confirmed his thoughts. His annoying companion had been near the border on his behalf, it was obvious he had seen the woman in question.

Sesshomaru remembered the behaviour Jaken had had after his return, hesitant, nervous, he hadn't stopped pacing up and down in front of his door without never daring to get in the office. Not knowing how he would take the news, Jaken had wasted a precious time, and there was now the great Lord Sesshomaru, struggling to keep paying attention – usually weak but not to such a point – to what was being said between the council members, struggling to keep his face as emotionless as ever, struggling to remain calm. And if Sesshomaru hated one thing, it really was struggling.

He could have declared the meeting over, postponed it, or left the room without giving a damn about the counsellors, it would have suited him, but not his purpose. He had sent Rin away to ensure her safety, as stupid as the council was, he wouldn't take the risk to draw their attention on her. If he had gone after having heard her name, it would have roused suspicions, they would have searched for the cause of such a behaviour, some might have found, and then... No, it was a risk he wouldn't take. Then, he took it upon him to remain as emotionless as ever, not letting anything betray what his thoughts were, but, from the look the old Goro was now giving him, his plan might not have worked so well.

'Will ask Jaken to keep an eye on him.' As weak as the toad seemed to be – and as annoying as he was, he was the only being Sesshomaru trusted, well not totally, but as far as his trust could go, it would be right to say that in his opinion Jaken was now more of a companion than of a servant.

Sesshomaru knew Jaken was entirely devoted to him, not only to his causes, but to his very person. In the world where the great demon was evolving Jaken was the only one who would never try to stab him – let-alone succeed. Besides, it could not be denied that the little imp was still fond of Rin, he would do his best to protect her.

Sesshomaru turned his gaze away from Goro's, not caring if the old demon took it as a victory. The infamous Lord Sesshomaru didn't have anything to prove to anybody, that kind of childish contest couldn't hurt his pride, nor his self-confidence.

"I... I suggest we nonetheless send troops to the border. We need to show we're not afraid, whoever is the foe," Kiyosuke's voice, at first hesitant, became firmer by the end of his intervention.

Albeit he had been publicly humiliated by Goro earlier, he wouldn't let go of his idea. They needed to settle that matter whoever they would have to face to do it, as long as the consequences weren't bad for his clan, he didn't care which they were.

Goro raised an eyebrow at him, he wouldn't have thought the moron had the guts to speak after the lecture he had given him. His lips stretched into a tiny smirk, the fresh meat would perhaps be more interesting than he had previously thought.

Sesshomaru held back an exasperated sigh. Jaken would have to look after Goro once he would have sent a message to the Lady of the Northern Clan. It was obvious he wouldn't get away from the meeting without having agreed to reinforce the border, but such a move could be misinterpreted by their neighbours, after all, they hadn't been victim of attacks, they didn't have any reason to put more soldiers there. The bear demons' move wasn't necessarily a threat, but if they, the dog demons, did make the same move, it wouldn't have any other explanation than the one of being a preparation to war. He needed to contact Lady Natsuko, as discreetly as possible, to figure the things out before they went out of control.

Besides, if Rin was among the bear demons, if she was a soldier, he swore to hell he wouldn't ever let a war happen between the two clans. Actually, he was sure it wouldn't be the sole thing her presence would make him swear to do.

His little, no, she wasn't a child any more. 'And she isn't yours,' a teasing – annoying – voice said in his mind. Well, if Rin was living among demons, could that mean he could plan to-

"My Lord, we're waiting for you," Goro's voice tore him away from his thoughts. "Are we sending troops to the North?"

"You may," he coldly answered.

"Then, I dare declare the meeting over," Goro continued, enjoying the visibly pissed look on his Lord's face. A look he was certainly the only one able to detect, but, after all, he had known their Lord since the demon was a new-born baby, hadn't he? It was obvious the demon had things to prepare, to ponder over. Goro was eager to see what would happen in the near future.

"An explanation, or a war, whatever will be the outcome, we shall all swear to remain faithful to our Clan!" All the counsellors stood up and, imitating Goro's behaviour, turned towards Sesshomaru. "And, of course, to our Lord," Goro's tone held an amusement Sesshomaru, contrary to the others, didn't miss.

TBC


	10. Chapter 9 Mission

**I'm really sorry it's been a very long time since I last updated! I'm very sorry! - I know it's tiresome to wait again and again. Well, I can't tell you when the next update will be, I'm going from being a high school student to a college student so there are lots of things to take care of ^^" **

**Well, I hope this chapter will please you! **

**Thank you for your patience. **

**Enjoy your reading ! (and goog holidays if you're on =] )**

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><p>Chapter 9 Mission<p>

Jaken couldn't help but shake. He hadn't even thought about discussing his Lord's order – he would never do such a thing – but now that he was hiding in thorny bushes, surrounded by bear demons, he was starting to take the idea into consideration. Shouldn't they have been able to find somebody more suitable than him for that kind of mission?

A bird flowing off somewhere above him made his teeth chatter nervously. Of course he knew why his Lord had chosen him, he knew him better than the great demon probably believed, besides, Jaken was able to pass through a whole bunch of demons without being located – a talent he had taken great care to improve - but it didn't mean he was at ease with it! Usually, he used his skills to spy on some crooked demons who were likely to plot against Lord Sesshomaru, if they acknowledged his game, his Lord would assure his protection – it had never been said aloud, but actions meant more than words, didn't they?

The bushes behind him suddenly moved, making him jump. Spying on the nobility inside a luxurious castle, and sneaking among unfriendly demons in a wild forest were definitely two things radically opposed, he had to admit his nerves would rather have him in the former situation than in the latter. If he didn't quickly fulfil his goal, then he bet a heart attack would get the better of him.

To sneak into Lady Natsuko castle would have been pretty impossible, even if the demons couldn't locate him, Jaken knew he wouldn't have been able to pass through all the security – magical or tangible – which was certainly set up. Fortunately, the Lady happened to be travelling not far away from the border, probably to verify that her orders had been correctly followed. It made his mission easier.

'If they leave her alone long enough to let me approach her.'

However, unfortunately for him, that wasn't happening. Jaken had remained hidden in bushes for two days now, having found no opportunity to avoid the soldiers. He was not invisible – only very discreet - he couldn't simply walk straight to the Lady!

'They would kill me, and wonder what was my business, well, over my corpse,' he thought, a shiver running down his spine.

He was running out of time. He needed to fulfil his mission in four days at most, and two had already been wasted. He was seriously starting to think about sneaking into her tent in the middle of the night - after having prayed all day long for a miracle, it went without saying.

"Did the travel go well?"

'Gosh, why are they coming here?' Jaken went further into the bushes.

"Very well, thanks."

Jaken froze. She was there, Rin, their Rin! She was right there. If he got out of the bushes, not even totally, his head would be enough, he would be able to see her again, after ten years. Ten years...

The imp had to restrain himself with all his strength not to leave his hiding-place. It wouldn't do any good to show himself now but, but damn it was hard when she was so close!

"Do you really think, I apologise if my question is not appropriate, but do you think there will be a war between our clan and Lord Sesshomaru's?"

Jaken held back his breath, he didn't want to miss her answer because of a too loud inspiration.

Rin sighed.

"To be honest-"

"We're being attacked! We're are being attacked! Get ready! Captain Rin! Captain Rin! Please, we need to-"

"Catch your breath soldier," Rin calmly ordered.

The soldier knelt in front of her, face almost touching the dust. "I... We..."

Rin bent over him, putting a gentle but nonetheless firm hand on his back. "Breathe. It'll be easier to understand you."

The soldier silently acquiesced, calmed by his superior's cool. Rin held back a nervous smirk. She wasn't calm at all. If she was listening to herself, she would be hurrying the demon to tell her everything he knew, but that was a childish demeanour she couldn't afford to have right now.

"Good, now you can clearly explain."

Even if her controlled behaviour and the firmness in her voice surprised her old friend, Jaken was reassured to still detect gentleness in her intonations. The child he used to know still existed somehow.

"Dog demons are attacking us from... from the North, they're already on our... on our territory, we need... we need to assure our Lady's safety! Captain!"

Rin felt her blood run cold. She hadn't found a more suitable hypothesis yet, one that would innocent his clan, if there was the smallest evidence of the Western Clan's implication in this attack, she didn't think war could be avoided any longer.

Jaken loudly gasped. They had been outstripped! It was impossible, it was... He took several deep breaths, he had to regain his composure, he had to be calmed if he wanted to understand. Closing his eyes, he started to gather all the different elements together, little by little appeared a schema he would rather not have had to face.

There hadn't been any attacks in weeks, but three days after Lord Sesshomaru's decision to be prudent with their moves, and before he had had the chance to reach the supposed enemy's leader, calm was being broken. How could something like that happen? Several possibilities, spies, betrayals, sly schemes, one result, they were not in a situation favourable to explanations any more. Words would be weaker than actions. And it was a big problem when the said actions couldn't be totally controlled.

"What about reinforcements?" Rin's voice got him out of his thoughts.

"Already sent Captain."

She nodded. She understood now why her superiors hadn't been present when she had entered the camp. They might have suspected something would happen and go before every one else. '

They have more experience, it's normal, but what am I supposed to do?'

Rin hated feeling helpless. She was a captain now, besides she belonged to the personal guard of their Lady, she should be ready to face any situation. 'But you're still a child,' she thought without any bitterness. She was only eighteen, all her efforts wouldn't change that, she couldn't go faster than time. She had faced her share of hardships, but was it enough to make an adult of her? No, in fact, it was far from being sufficient.

She shook her head, she would think about her mistakes later. Now was definitely not the time.

"I'm going too. Stay there with the remaining soldiers to assure Lady Natsuko and the counsellors' safety. I'll warn them myself," Rin decided before silently adding 'As if they didn't already know.'

If her superiors had left, then the highest ranked people of their clan knew what was happening. It was purely logical.

Jaken had to choose between going back to his Lord, or fulfilling his mission – by appearing in front of Lady Natsuko asap, however if he wanted the latter to go well, he had to bet on the Lady's trust in the Lord of the Western Land. And if he opted for the former, he had to run as fast as possible and pray he reached his Lord before... before what? In fact, going back to his Lord would do nothing. They weren't the ones attacking the bear demons, warning his Lord wouldn't stop the assault, but warning the bear clan they were being deceived on their enemy's identity... He clenched his fists. He might as well take advantage of Rin's presence, she would surely believe him, wouldn't she?

He slowly got his head out of the bushes, ready to see her face, grimacing when he faced her back, she was already walking away from his hiding-place, taking his courage with her at the same time. He quickly disappeared before any soldiers could catch a glimpse of him.

'What are you doing Jaken? You have to go! You have to-' A hand suddenly grabbed him by the collar and jerked him out of the vegetation.

Rin thought she saw leaves move behind the soldier, but it was certainly the wind, or her imagination's product. She shook her head, she had to report to her Lady before leaving.

"Captain! Captain! There is a spy! A spy!"

She jerked her head toward the shouts. A spy? In the camp? Impossible! She ran as fast as she could to the screaming soldier.

"There! There he is! Captain!"

Rin gritted her teeth when she saw who the soldier was holding.

"This is a child!" she angrily screamed. "A child! Let him go! Right now!"

"But... But... he was hiding... he was-"

"Wondering what we are doing near his village you-" Rin stopped before anything harsh left her mouth. She had to calm down, she was a soldier right now, not a young woman, her feelings would wait. "I mean, just let him go, or better, find someone to bring him back to his home. It wouldn't be safe to send him alone."

Rin cussed under her breath. That fool, mistaking a kid for a spy, she kicked an apparent root, what a waste of time when she needed to leave asap! 'And to be more careful about your feelings,' she thought, disappointed with her lack of control over herself.

Jaken's fear decreased when he acknowledged the owner of the hand, a kid! A kid? Wait a second he had been found out by a kid when soldiers had been oblivious of his presence for days?

"Let go of me you moron!" he spat.

"What sort of thing are you?" the kid wrinkled his nose. "You're not human."

Jaken tried to free himself from the boy's grip. "I'm a demon! A demon!"

"Really? You look more like a toad. You're a magic frog?"

"I'm a demon!" Jaken shouted. "Let go of me or else-"

He was cut off when the kid covered his mouth. "Shut up! Someone is coming!" he whispered. "Come!"

'Come? Is he crazy or what?' Jaken thought – unable to speak in his current situation. 'Let go of me you moron!'

He could only follow – or rather being carried away by – the boy, away from the soldiers – and the threatening promises coming along with them – but also away from their chance to avoid a murderous war.

'Let go of me! Let go of me! My Lord! My Lord!'

The battlefield was not far away from the camp, a two-hours trip would be sufficient to reach their troops, fortunately for Rin who didn't like to travel on the back of a bear, even after so many years her body wasn't accustomed to it yet. Their speed, their way of moving through the woods, she always feared they would forget she was there and drop her, make her hit a tree and so on.

At least, this time her companion was somebody she trusted enough to travel without much worries.

"Do you want to stop before the battlefield or do I run straight in the middle of it?"

Rin leant forward in order to be closer to the demon's ear.

"Straight in the middle of it, it's where our superiors will be," she answered with certainty.

"Won't it be reckless?"

"Does it bother you?"

A ferocious smile stretched the demon's lips. Being under a human's orders didn't bother Mamoru as long as the human was Rin. He had been her training partner since she was sixteen, all the time knowing he would end up under her command so, instead of being rebellious, of complaining, of ignoring her because of what she was, he chose to believe in her like his Lady seemed to do. He chose to help her in her improvement in order to have a superior he would be proud of, a superior he would gladly work with.

Rin was a kind-hearted young woman, tending to follow her feelings, her heart, rather than her head. In order to be a soldier, she had to continually fight her true nature, she wasn't meant to be a soldier, however she did her best to hold that role as perfectly as she could. What he appreciated the most was her ability to forget her fears in order to make the most efficient choices, like now.

"Do you have to ask?" he chuckled.

Running straightly in the middle of a fight was something he knew she was afraid of, but she would do it nonetheless, another option would be a waste.

"Then go."

It was reckless, totally and utterly reckless. They didn't know what they would fall upon once they would reach the battlefield, but Rin couldn't think of anything else to do. She was glad Mamoru didn't mind being thrown in the middle of a fight, it spared her the bother to convince him.

"Are you scared?"

"No."

Lie. She could tell her blood was colder than the one of snake, frozen by fear and apprehension - she had the impression something was going to go gruesomely wrong. She hoped her instinct wasn't right. And, above all, she hoped their enemies weren't the ones everybody thought they were.

If she were to meet him in the middle of that battlefield what would she do?

TBC.


	11. Chapter 10 Prey

**Finally I found the time to write a little - some parts of the story are already written, but I still need to work on them and to link them with the rest of the chapters. **

**I hope you'll like that chapter. Thank you for all your reviews and your visits ! =]**

**Enjoy your reading!**

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><p>Chapter 10 Prey<p>

The claws sliced through the air above her head. Rin pushed on her legs to jump backwards, thus going away from those deadly claws. They had been near her skin a bit too much for her liking, however if stepping backwards allowed her to avoid the claws, it put her straightly between another demon's paws.

Mamoru had run in the middle of the battlefield, hoping to find their superiors as quickly as possible. He should have known it wouldn't be so easy. As soon as he had lowered his speed, Rin had disappeared from his back, thrown away by a blow none of them had seen coming.

'Even if we should have,' he thought, angry with himself. Who wouldn't have tried to attack them when they were obviously so unfocused on the battle going on? Nobody.

Now he could only hope Rin would be able to stay alive by herself – he didn't doubt her capacities, but their opponents weren't there to play, but to kill.

No strategy had been decided, however it was clear they needed to stop those dog demons, whatever clan they belonged to, by all possible means.

"_Try not to kill them. As long as we don't exactly know what's going on we can't afford to blindly rush into our enemy's paws. What if they are being deceived? What if they are, well innocent isn't the right word but you know what I mean don't you?" _

He kept Rin's words in his mind, it was the sole solution for him not to kill those bastards – manipulated or not that was what they were, but if she was right, he wouldn't have to torment himself about his victims – not that killing really bothered him though.

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><p>Rin was used to being thrown on the ground, however it was a habit she would gladly get rid of if she could. She should have held tighter on Mamoru, or not, if she had wouldn't she have strangled him?<p>

'How do you want to strangle a demon with your hands?' a little voice nagged her.

She sighed, then dodged a kick coming to her stomach. 'Focus!' she lectured herself. With so many soldiers fighting, it was impossible for her to reach her superiors avoiding them every blow, the best she could do was trying to dodge as much as possible.

Making her way through the battlefield while trying to catch a glimpse of a known face wasn't an easy business. If she recognised soldiers she had crossed the path of when she had been younger then, there would be no doubt, they would belong to _his_ clan. She dreaded that eventuality and hoped to find a face belonging to Lady Natsuko's clan instead.

She jumped above a leg, ducked a sword, avoided a blow by turning around to finally end up bottom against ground. Not taking time to think about what had sent her there, Rin immediately got up, she had to keep moving - a motionless prey was always easier to target.

She couldn't clearly see her surroundings, partially blinded by all the dust whipped up by the fight. If she was discreet enough – or rather really quick – she could hope nobody would spot her long enough to take interest in her, to want her as an opponent.

In spite of her role, Rin didn't like fighting. She had chosen that path because, at some point in her life, it had appeared to be the best solution in response to her lack of understanding. Why had she been abandoned? That question, little by little, had transformed itself in why had I thought I had been abandoned? Because she hadn't been, not really. She should have understood it earlier. To abandon somebody would have been losing her in the middle of a forest, alone and without any chance to survive instead, she had been left in Inuyasha and Kagome's care, in a village where her life wouldn't be continually threatened.

Her Lord hadn't abandoned her, he had saved her.

However, once she had acknowledged that, it had been too late to leave the army, not because of Lady Natsuko, she would have understood, but because of the promises she had herself made. She would protect what Tsuyu had loved, what she had lost her life for. She would help the bear clan assuring the peace on its territory. They had accepted her, she would never be a bear demon, but she nonetheless belonged to the clan of the Northern Land.

How long had she remained, seated alone, thinking about her Lord, before being able to understand what had led him to separate them? An eternity really. And she blamed herself for that, for her lack of trust in him, how could she have dared! He had been, no, he was her life saviour! He had allowed her to stay by his side, he had protected her, not caring about the other demons' protestations, complaints, criticisms, and so on. He had put his pride aside - or had he wrapped her in it? - for her, for her safety.

A violent pain suddenly got Rin out of her thoughts. Something had... had bitten her side! She put her hand on the open wound, hoping to stop the bleeding. With luck, the demon wouldn't have liked what he had tasted and wouldn't chase after her, besides enough blood was flowing around to mask her scent.

"Focus! Focus!" she angrily repeated. She really wasn't meant to be on a battlefield, even with all her training, even if she had successfully passed all the tests, her body and her mind weren't working well together.

Physically, she was a soldier. She was small, but her musculature was firm and light, perfect when facing opponents bigger than her – what almost always happened. However, her mind wasn't craving for blood and fights. She would rather help in the villages, teach the kids what she had had the chance to learn herself, work in the fields.

She had thought about it for some time now, once this mysterious quarrel would be over, she would ask to leave the army. True, she had promised she would protect what Tsuyu had loved, but was it really her role? Being bleeding in the middle of a fight which seemed to oppose two clans she was in debt to, she could tell it wasn't something she was meant to face. All these years, she had stubbornly stuck to a path she thought was hers. She had been wrong. This path wasn't for her.

She shouldn't be dying as a soldier, but as a human woman. She was proud of what she had done in the past, she could be, however it wasn't satisfying her. There were lots of things she should have done. Things which belonged to the path she should have chosen. Not the one of vengeance, of anger and sadness, no, she should have chosen the one of faith, of comprehension, of love. She should have come back to Inuyasha's village – how much they might have been worried! - and, once she would have become stronger, with the aim of not being a burden, she should have travelled to where _he_ was. She should have showed him how much he meant to her, how much she was willing to be by his side.

Lord Sesshomaru had done so much for her, he had proved more than once, in his own way, that he cared for her and how had she thanked him? She had let her faith in him falter.

She pressed harder on her wound. Her energy was dangerously decreasing. Her heart was loudly pounding in her ears, it was deafening, terrorising.

"I... I... have to... to find... them..."

Her superiors would know what to do. They would be able to help her, wouldn't they?

She was slowly but surely slowing down. Soon, her feet wouldn't carry her any more. _A motionless prey was easier to target._

Wounded and motionless, in other words, dead.

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><p>Even though Jaken kept struggling, the kid's hold on him didn't weaken.<p>

"Stop fidgeting!" the little boy ordered in a hush tone. "Or else they will find us."

"Where are you leading me?" Jaken asked with the same tone – he didn't want to know who they was referring to.

"It depends."

Jaken's eyes went wide. "Sorry?" he exclaimed, obvious indignation in his voice.

"Why were you spying on them?"

"Why... Why was I what?"

The kid sighed. "You're slow! Why were you spying on them? In the bushes? Don't tell me that where you live!"

"Not your business you stupid human!" Jaken mumbled.

Indeed, he had grown fond of Rin, however it didn't mean his feelings towards human children had changed, not at all in fact. He still found them irking, rude, and, well, ugly.

"It is," the child affirmed, "because they are protecting my village. If you're against them, you're against my village, so you're my enemy."

"What a way to talk for a child!"

The kid shook him a little. "Stop using that tone with me. Your fate depends on me."

"Are you threatening me?" Jaken gasped.

"Watch your tone!" the boy ordered through greeted teeth.

Although they were now far enough from the camp to be out of hearing range, he wouldn't take any risk.

"Where are we going anyway?"

The kid sighed. What had he brought the toad with him really? Oh yes, he had been asked to.

'Perhaps I didn't find the good toad,' he thought while glancing at the demon. This one didn't seem to be an efficient messenger, he didn't seem to be more than several centuries either. 'He can just be a magic toad.'

"Eh! Why aren't you answering? Eh! Stupid human! I need to go! I need to go so let go of me! Let go of me!"

"Tsuyoshi! Here!"

The kid suddenly turned to his left to meet another boy, a little taller than him, but probably of the same age.

"Nori! You were supposed to wait for me closer!" the named Tsuyoshi – Jaken's tormentor – scolded.

"I know. I know. But they found me. It's Miss Rin who saved me," the boy explained, eyes lowered to the ground with shame.

At the mention of Rin's name, Jaken lost control over his mouth. "Miss Rin? Rin? You know her? You know her, don't you?"

The kids gave him puzzled looks, but kept silent.

"You know her? Can you talk to her? I mean, I mean, will she listen to you? I mean-"

"Is he crazy?" Nori asked his friend.

Tsuyoshi shrugged. "Probably. He has been strange since I found him."

Nori's face came closer to Jaken's. "Is he really a powerful demon?" He poked him lightly on the head. "I mean, he doesn't really look dangerous, not at all in fact. Have you mistaken?"

"I don't think," Tsuyoshi frowned. "There was only him in the bushes surrounding the camp. And he fits the description."

Jaken was going crazy. They were doing as if he wasn't there! But Rin, if they knew her, then they might help him, he had to calm down a little, enough to stop calling them harshly at least. However, if the boy – the one named Nori – kept poking him, he wouldn't be able to be more, well, more, a little less grumpy?

"Well, it's not our business so let's bring the toad to him," Tsuyoshi decided.

"Bring what to who?" Jaken shouted angrily – was he not supposed to be calmer? To hell what he had said! Those kids were getting too much on his nerves.

"I said let's bring the toad, it means you, to him, it means to the guy who wants to you," the boy repeated as if he were talking to a baby.

Jaken glared at him. "Who is that guy?" In spite of his appearance, the little demon was more anxious than angry. Who could that be? Who would know where he was?

The two boys started to walk again, Tsuyoshi still carrying Jaken by the collar. "We don't have the right to say it," Nori said. "So we won't tell."

Jaken didn't bother to ask again. He could tell by himself it would get him nowhere. Those boys, as young as they seemed to be – ten or twelve at most, would not betray that guy. It was something years had taught him, humans of that age, boys mostly, were more likely not to give up on an idea as long as they considered it as a mission, they had surely been sent by someone important enough to give orders – to impress them – their pride would prevent them from failing.

Failure, to demons or humans, was something that all feared, because it could hurt your pride, deprive you of the others' respect, of their trust. Failure was something young boys dreaded more than others, they still had their reputation to build, they wouldn't allow its foundations to be shaken by such a thing.

"When will I meet him?" Jaken finally muttered after several minutes.

"Soon," they answered together.

* * *

><p>Black, all she could see was black. Everywhere. To the right, to the left. Black. But she still walked forwards. She needed to find them. It was her sole chance, their sole chance. If she didn't find them... She stumbled over, well, over something. How did she keep her balance? She didn't care, at least she was still on her feet. As long as they were set on the ground a chance - her chance - would exist.<p>

As long as she walked, hope would be there.

As long as she walked, she wasn't dead.

As long as... Damn... She was falling...

TBC


	12. Chapter 11 By my side

**It's been a long time, Sorry! I confess I've spent so much time on Harry Potter fanfictions than Inuyasha ones left my mind for a while. **

**I hope you'll like this chapter, I hope it'll not seem too strange to you. **

**Well, remember the characters are OOC - I do not follow the true story after all.**

**Thank you for all your reviews and visits!  
><strong>

**Enjoy your reading!  
><strong>

**Elie**

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><p><span>Chapter 11 By my side<span>_  
><em>

_Dead. _

_Impossible._

_He is dead._

_He can't._

_He is laying on the floor._

_It doesn't prove anything._

_Motionless._

_He may be sleeping._

_With blood as covers?_

_It's not his._

_And the wounds?_

_They aren't his._

_Are you blind?_

_They don't exist._

_Are you such a naïve fool?_

_He can't die._

_You abandoned him._

_No!_

_Your faith in him disappeared._

_No._

_You are the one at fault, not him._

_No..._

_You killed him. Well, nothing to say? Of course you keep silent, you're his murderer. _

Rin jerked awake, sweat-soaked, panic-stricken. She tried to get up, she had to go to him, she had to see him, to see him alive.

It was impossible for the infamous Lord Sesshomaru to be dead. Totally and utterly impossible. The thought didn't calm her down. She needed to be sure.

But what she wanted, and what she was able to do were two things entirely different at that time. Her mind was screaming at her to get out of wherever she was, when her body was treacherously refusing to move.

Rin cursed, silently, because no word would leave her mouth. Her throat was so dry that even several attempts to talk didn't change anything. She was condemned to be speechless. Speechless and motionless. Not good.

"Don't move."

She jumped, grimacing under the pain the action roused in her.

"Don't move," the voice repeated. "Not yet."

Her heart swelled with relief. That voice. A nightmare. It had only been a nightmare, the proof was there, right beside her, beside her? But how? The battlefield! Could he have been- no, impossible.

She hadn't heard well. Her pain might have deceived her, it wasn't his voice. It wasn't him beside her. It couldn't be him, could it? If only she was able to move her head, to turn her eyes wasn't sufficient for her to see her surroundings, except for the sky and what she guessed was a rock face, she could be anywhere, with anybody.

She tried to speak, perhaps her companion would answer her questions. After all, if she was still alive, he couldn't mean her any harm, could he? Unfortunately, no word would leave her mouth. Her throat was burning, dried up by the hours for which she had certainly remained unconscious.

What had happened? She'd fallen, she was certain she had, however she didn't recall hitting the floor, but who could have helped her? Mamoru hadn't been near her, nor Toshiro, and none of the soldiers she knew would have caught her in time, they'd been too focused on their own fights to pay her any attention. Then who? Who was the man – human or demon – beside her?

"Sleep."

She jumped again. That voice, no, it couldn't be, perhaps her ears had been affected by her fall? She turned her head, determined not to let the pain have the upper hand. She needed to know. She would know.

Her eyes went wide. He was- no, it was impossible. But then her nightmare – it had only been a nightmare! A light smile stretched her lips as a wave of relief overwhelmed her.

He caught sight of her move and sighed.

"You never listen," it was a statement. Her smile grew bigger, then tears started to flood her cheeks.

He was there, Lord Sesshomaru was there, her Lord Sesshomaru! If blood was effectively covering him, she knew it wasn't his, there was no visible wound on his body, and his clothes, although crumpled, weren't torn apart. He was safe, safe and alive. How relieved she felt! Relieved and distressed. What would she tell him? How could she apologise? Would he care? Did he care? He had saved her, obviously, but that meant nothing.

She turned her head away from him, ashamed. How strong was she! Ten years and the first sight he'd have of her after all this time was a wounded, helpless and crying human. And yet, it felt right to cry, to give in to her feelings, to her pain. It felt right, because it was who she was. It was the worst timing, but she was now realising how stupid she had been.

If strength had been the answer, he'd have taught her himself. Why hadn't he made a fighter of her? Because he knew her – more than herself obviously – he knew she wasn't meant to fight, to face her enemies, sword in hands, in the middle of a bloody battlefield. No, it wasn't her. It was what she'd thought she had to become, but it wasn't true, it wasn't her. And it had taken her ten awfully long years to understand something Lord Sesshomaru had always known.

Rin wanted to apologise, to tell him how much she had missed him, how much being away from him had hurt her, broken her. She also wanted to thank him, however he had done so many things for her she doubted mere thanks would be enough.

Sesshomaru, on his side, could do nothing but stare at the young woman laying beside him. In ten years she'd grown into a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who had suffered a lot. He let out a growl from the back of his throat. He had in front of him what he'd hoped to avoid. He didn't want to imagine what she'd had to go through, how hard she'd had to train in order to go against her nature, in order to become a fighter. She'd forgotten herself, he guessed, to adapt to the surroundings which had become hers after Inuyasha's village.

While attending to her wounds, he had seen the many scars covering her body, and the ones on her chin were too obvious to ignore, they'd made him angry, they were making him angry. He knew he couldn't stay in denial any more. He'd always secretly hoped she was living in a human village, surrounded by friends, happy and, above all, safe. But Rin was a soldier, a soldier under Lady Natsuko's command, a soldier who had already faced violence, death. She was a soldier, and it was his fault.

Rin's muffled sobs made him go back to reality. He needed to calm her down before she hurt herself more.

He went closer and, with utter delicacy, lifted her head on his lap, reached for the wooden cup he'd previously created and filled with a water to quench her thirst.

Rin stiffened, then felt her heart swell with hope as water was poured in her throat. Some things never changed, like the way the smallest of his touches could affect her, comfort her. It suddenly hit her. Lord Sesshomaru still cared about her! If he didn't, he'd have let her in somebody else's hands, he wouldn't have stayed by her side, nor would he be giving her water. If he had stopped caring, he wouldn't be there.

"You should sleep." His voice brought tears again to her eyes.

Rin squeezed her eyes shut. She wouldn't cry, not because she was ashamed, but because she felt there were so many other things she had to do, too many indeed to let her emotions get all her attention. She might not be a fighter, but she was still a soldier, and her mission was far from being over.

"How... long?" she managed to murmur.

"You were unconscious for a day and a half." Rin offered no reaction to his statement, used as she was to being unconscious – it wasn't something she was proud of though. "The battle ended hours ago," he added after several minutes of silence. "They fought until nobody could stand any more."

Rin jerked up, panic running through her veins. "They are all dead?" she shouted.

"Stop moving," he ordered, making her lay back on his lap. "No, they are not all dead. But there are a lot of dead, that can't be ignored."

She swallowed hard before asking. "On both sides?"

He nodded, her eyes were still staring at him. "Mine and..." she took a deep breath, she needed to know. "And..." No, she couldn't. She couldn't finish her sentence because it had no sense. The demon beside her wasn't responsible for the threat which plagued her clan.

"Who were the others?"

"You don't know?" There was no surprise in his voice.

Rin shook her head. "To be honest, since that mess's started, we don't know who we're fighting," she admitted without breathing.

The water he'd given her had done wonders with her throat – medicinal herbs had certainly been mixed with it – allowing her to recover the power of speech quite quickly.

"I don't know," he said. "But it's obvious their aim is our downfall. If that mess keeps going on, then both clans, mine and," he hesitated a little, "and Lady Natsuko's will suffer from great damage."

She didn't catch his hesitation, for all she was able to think about right now was the puzzle facing them.

"They're dog demons," she thought aloud. "They attack us, and make culprits of innocent people."

He remained silent, both wanting to know where her thoughts would lead her and not wanting to reveal his own – the less she knew the better.

"Lady Natsuko certainly thinks you're not responsible," she continued, thanks to the medicinal herbs her pain had greatly decreased – in some minutes she would probably be able to sit properly. "But there are people who think you're our enemy. And they won't hesitate to fight you."

"Crazy fools," he muttered without knowing it. He frowned. It'd been a long time since he'd let his mask fall, since she'd left his side to be exact.

A small smile tugged at her lips, then quickly disappeared. Right now wasn't the time to be happy, even if his hands were touching her, one on her shoulder, the other in her hair. Did he know he was stroking them? She quickly forced herself back from these useless thoughts.

"Well, they think our strengths are equal. It's been years since the last battle between our two clans. To say the winner is already known would be a lie."

He didn't like the way she kept repeating "our", it clearly reminded him she wasn't on his side, even if they weren't enemies, she belonged – or at least she considered herself to belong – with the bears.

What would she say if he asked her to go back with him? He'd always thought she'd jumped in his arms – like she had done many times as a kid – and... And to be honest he hadn't thought it'd be necessary for him to ask her, for he'd been certain she'd automatically go back to his side.

Now he wasn't so sure, and he hated that.

"Perhaps Lady Natsuko knows more about the situation now. I should go and ask her. I should-" she stopped. Her eyes suddenly went wide as she realised they might think her dead. And if they thought she was, then Lady Natsuko would blame herself, thinking she'd broken the promise she'd made to her best friend, she'd blame herself like Toshiro and Mamoru would surely do. Impossible! She couldn't let them think she was dead, she couldn't let them blame themselves when nothing wrong had been done!

She got up again, this time successfully, and looked around her. A path, she had to find a path to go back to them.

Sesshomaru leant towards her, his arms ready to catch her if she were to weaken.

"I told you-"

"I need to go back!" she cut him off. He frowned. She had never cut him off before.

"You need to-"

"I can't let them think I'm dead!" she interrupted him again.

"But-"

"You don't understand! Lady Natsuko, she... she will..." Rin was becoming frantic. She could only imagine the pain her Lady had to be suffering from. "She needs to know! They need to know I-"

"Rin!" he growled.

Rin immediately stopped. She'd forgotten Lord Sesshomaru was with her. Yes, with her...

"By the way," she sheepishly murmured, "Lord Sesshomaru why are you by my side?"

TBC

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><p><strong>At the beginning, in Rin's nightmare, she is speaking with nobody in particular. It's as if there were her and Truth - don't know if it really makes sense ^^"<strong>


	13. Chapter 12 Apologies

**Two chapters in two days! I hope you'll like that one. **

**Enjoy your reading! - and keep reviewing it never fails to warm my heart =] **

**Elie**

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><p><span>Chapter 12 Apologies<span>

Sesshomaru sighed. Rin was still Rin, no matter how many years had passed. She was still that foolish human who couldn't see the real danger of her situation. She couldn't worry about herself first, for the others would always be more important than her.

He'd to admit he was a little offended by her actions, offended that she'd be so quick to worry about others before worrying about him. Why hadn't she questioned his presence? Because, he guessed, her thoughts were entirely turned to her clan. He had to hold back a frustrated growl, then finally let it out when he couldn't bear her nonsense any longer.

Where did she think she'd go in her condition? She could barely sit properly and yet she already wanted to walk away, away from him. Had he lost his importance to her? Was he no more than the demon who had saved her then left her in the care of somebody else when she was a kid? Couldn't she see past that latter action? Couldn't she see how much he cared about her?

His outburst – quite controlled in fact– quieted her, for several seconds at least.

"By the way," Rin sheepishly murmured, turning her eyes back to him, "Lord Sesshomaru why are you by my side?"

"Lay back and I explain."

"I think it's better if-"

"Lay back Rin."

She grimaced. She still didn't like to displease him.

He welcomed her on his lap, it was more comfortable than the ground, and started to think about how he was going to explain what he was supposed to explain.

Sesshomaru was aware Rin wasn't a child any more, and it wasn't in his habits to beat around the bush, but he was reluctant to tell her everything, to tell her about the conspiracy – although she seemed to know a lot about it. He wished he could still protect her innocence. An innocence which had obviously already been damaged.

"What do you remember?"

Rin closed her eyes, bothered by the shining sun above her. He instinctively moved to hide her from the light and was rewarded when her features relaxed.

"I was bleeding, I had a bite on my side," her hand automatically went to her bandaged wound. "The last thing I recall is my fall. I was falling to the ground and then, then nothing else, only darkness."

He nodded. Lord Sesshomaru hadn't changed, he was still not a man of many words, it'd have made her smile if she wasn't so worried.

"I caught you before you hit the ground. I'd been warned there was a battle going on. I'd sent Jaken to meet Lady Natsuko, I fear he might not have reached her in time, not at all in fact. He is missing. I was looking for him when I smelt your scent instead of his, your blood to be exact."

He wrinkled his nose. He loathed that scent. Her blood was an awful odour indeed, one which had roused a feeling he wasn't accustomed to: panic.

"Then I left the battlefield with you. You were going to die if nothing was done to her wounds. I tended to them as well as I could. And you took the medicinal herbs, I think your condition will quickly improve."

"Thank you," she awkwardly bowed.

"I went back to the battlefield," he continued, "when I was certain you wouldn't wake up. There, I saw many corpses, from both sides, but there was nobody to speak with, nobody to interrogate, for all the living souls had already left the place."

Rin shivered. Neither cold or pain were responsible, but fear, fear her friends might belong to the corpses. However she couldn't ask Lord Sesshomaru if he had seen them. She'd have to verify by herself. Therefore she had to get up. As if he'd guessed her thoughts, Sesshomaru's hands pressed a little harder on her shoulders.

"If you tell me where you want to go, I'll take you there," he said.

"The battlefield," she immediately replied.

"Except there," he retorted. She didn't need to witness such a slaughter.

Rin shook her head. "I must go there. I must see if... if..." the words died in her throat. What would she do if her friends were dead?

"I can take you back to your camp. You'll see there who belongs to the victims."

"No!" Rin exclaimed.

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at her. Years ago she'd have never dared act thus in his presence.

"I can't," she said in a lowlier voice. "I need my mind to be clear if I want to be useful to Lady Natsuko. If they're dead... I would rather know it before going back to the camp. Thus, I'll be able to act with composure." She shut her eyes then looked in his. "Please."

"It's not something pleasant to see," he tried to dissuade her.

"I've seen worse," she lowered her head, memories of the ruins which had once been villages full of life flooding back her mind. "I'm certain I've seen worse."

Her voice was barely above a whisper. She remembered the little girl, her mutilated body, her blood, the way she was clinging to what was left of a doll... She almost retched.

"Please," she repeated. "Please take me there."

"You won't change your mind."

Rin acquiesced although it hadn't been a question. Sesshomaru held back a sigh, how could he have forgotten her stubbornness.

"Well. How do you feel?"

She tentatively moved her limbs, then sat up – his arms still ready to support her. No pain being roused by her actions, she assured she was all right.

"You know the pain is still there. The medicinal herbs only ease it, they don't erase it. I don't know how long it'll work." He hoped she'd decide to wait a while longer, giving him enough time to find a way to change her mind.

"It won't take long to see if they're... well, it'd be better to leave immediately."

She suddenly lowered her head. She hadn't meant to be so impolite to him. "I'm sorry Lord Sesshomaru, once again I owe you my life and yet I'm just asking more from you. I'm sorry. I know it's awfully disrespectful," she said in a murmur, not daring to meet his eyes.

Rin was ashamed. She'd meant to apologise and to thank him, not to ask favours from him.

"I apologise," she continued, she might as well do it now, who knew how long he'd stay by her side. "I apologise for all I dared think about you. I should have realised you were protecting me. But I... I was so... it'd been so hard to be separated from you. I felt... I feel like I've not been myself since then. Still now, I... I'm terribly sorry." She chose to put an end to her nonsense.

No word existed to describe her feelings, her pain, her shame. She'd been a kid when he'd left her, a kid unable to untangle herself from her sorrow. A kid anger had taken control of. Rin had faced death before, pain too, but none of her previous experiences could match what she'd gone through at that time.

"I'm sorry," she said again, "because I doubted you. My faith should have been stronger. I should have known better than to accuse you of abandon. I'm ashamed." She fell silent.

Her eyes hadn't left the ground, but Sesshomaru guessed she was on the verge of crying.

Her words had gone straight to his heart, and a huge relief was overwhelming him. No matter what she'd felt before, the most important was what she was feeling now. Sorry, ashamed, he could tell her faith in him had been long recovered. He didn't need to hear it, for his heart was certain of it.

"Rin-"

"I'm sorry my Lord!" she cried at the same time. "I doubted you when I shouldn't have. After all you have done for me... I'm sorry!"

To hear her anguish made him forget all about his reserve. He pulled her into a tight embrace, her head came to rest against his chest, her hands on his arms which were carefully holding her – her wounds hadn't left his mind.

"Lord-"

"Don't speak," he murmured.

She closed her mouth and did likewise with her eyes. How good it felt to be in his arms!

In the safety of his embrace, no worry could reach her, nothing could hurt her. She was safe, safe and happy. If only it could last...

"We need to go my Lord," she reluctantly reminded him. Reluctantly indeed, when what she desired the most was to never leave him.

"It's not Lord Sesshomaru any more?"

She moved away and he smirked when he caught sight of her reddened cheeks. It was so natural for her to call him my Lord - as natural as being in his arms seemed to be.

"I'll carry you in my arms," he decided. "I doubt you'll be able to stay on my back, let alone run by my side."

Rin nodded, her blush furiously deepening.

No more words were exchanged as he lifted her up. She buried her head in his hair, her arms around his neck, hoping he couldn't feel how fast her heart was beating. Though she wasn't so naïve as to think it'd go unnoticed. Lord Sesshomaru always knew everything and, had she raised her head to look at his face, she'd have seen how right she was for the smile on his lips couldn't be mistaken.

Lord Sesshomaru was satisfied, very satisfied indeed by the flutters of her heart. It was the evidence, more than anything else, of his importance to her. To know he could still affect her meant no indifference was to be feared from her part.

However, all satisfaction left him as they came closer to the battlefield. He stopped them before she could have a sight of what the place had become.

"Rin," he began. "Are you sure?"

She nodded against his chest.

"I don't know what you've seen before, but _that, _that might be too much. One word and we leave the place straight away."

His voice sounded emotionless, but Rin knew better than to be offended by his apparent coldness. The way his arms had tightened around her was all she needed to be comforted. He wasn't acting on duty. He wasn't acting thus towards her because he felt obliged to.

"I want to see it," she murmured.

He slowly covered what was left of the muddy path before gently putting her back on her feet.

Rin took a deep breath. She would rather be anywhere but here. Anywhere away from so much blood – which odour was violently assaulting her nostrils.

Corpses were everywhere. Rin retched. Unable to linger on the dead, her eyes studied only their faces – the ones still recognizable, she dreaded to catch a glimpse of them, and as much as she hated to admit it, no other faces than theirs would break her heart.

She recognised some of the soldiers she'd had the opportunity to work with. It saddened her, made her retch, but couldn't hold her attention very long. She'd mourn for them later. Now her selfishness wouldn't allow her to care about anybody else than her friends.

Sesshomaru watched as Rin wandered among the soldiers. He was quick enough not to need to be right beside her, if she were to weaken and fall, he'd be able to catch her in time. Besides, her desire to be alone was a certainty to him.

She hadn't screamed, cried, or fallen on her knees in front of such a macabre spectacle. He could see her body tense, and her shoulders jerk in disgust, but they were the sole signs of weakness she allowed herself to show, was it because of his presence, he didn't know, however he'd the intuition she'd already witnessed more mind-breaking scenes.

Her composure was making her look more aged than she was in reality, and Sesshomaru found himself admiring her strength. The little girl he used to protect had become a strong woman, able to face the cruelty of their world.

As he watched her walk among the dead, his heart swelled with pride.

In spite of everything, Rin hadn't yielded to fate. Sesshomaru would make sure she would never yield to it, whatever the obstacles it still had in store for her.

Upon his word, he would never leave her alone again.

TBC


End file.
